Magneto Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 On 3rd May 2013, KKR’s last league match at the Eden Gardens is scheduled to take place. Though Kolkata has been pretty dismal all throughout this IPL, and needs to win almost each and every match to qualify for the play-offs, the hype and anticipation about the match is stupendous, as a lot of optimists still think that KKR may manage to pull it off. I join the 60,000 strong crowd at around 7.55 PM to observe the drama. a) Initial blues – Unlike the other seasons, the security is not as manic this time. While frisking, one security guard looks suspiciously at the tiny pistol I am carrying, and it takes me some effort to explain that it is not a gun but a key chain. A gun cannot be that small. He fiddles with it and gives it back to me, staring at me all the while. I put the pistol back in my pocket, and smile at him. He still stares. I rush to the food stalls before getting in. A piddly Pepsi costs 50 bucks. I pick up a chicken roll and a Pepsi; the roll seems as cold as a soft drink and the Pepsi as warm as the roll. Bah! b) Spidercam, Spidercam! – The whole of Eden is filled with colours tonight. Flags, bandanas, banners and a whole lot of chaos are the order of the day. People are crowding up the aisles and it’s virtually impossible to see anything. The match starts but the chaos continues. The spidercam dances around and hovers over the ground with all glee, and the spectators crazily wave at it thinking they would be on TV by merely waving at the cam. As the spidercam snoops down to position itself behind the wicketkeeper, a spectator exclaims – ‘Spidercamta dekh, Bisla’s pechon diye uki marche’ (Look at the spidercam, it’s peeping from behind Bisla’ ass’. c) SRK is in the house – After the 2nd over (no one really knows what has happened in the first two overs and no one cares probably), the DJ announces – ‘Ladies and Gentleman, SRK is in the house’. Some spectators turn orgasmic – Kothay? (Where?). Everyone stand up (not that they were sitting initially) and look at the DJ console – there he is, the man of every KKR fan’s dreams, SRK - dancing enthusiastically to a dance number. The audience cannot believe their eyes. All cameraphones go click-click as SRK dances with full fervour. But something seems wrong gradually – this SRK seems to have a little too much energy. As sceptics whisper, the real SRK is shown in the big screen sitting somewhere else. Some of the embarrassed enthusiasts explain sheepishly, ‘Arey aami bolechhilam na, ota Shah Rukh noy, ota nokol. Shah Rukh ki orokom dekhte?’ (Didn’t I already say that it is not Shah Rukh, it’s a duplicate. Shah Rukh doesn’t even look like that.) d) The first cricketing moment – The announcement of Sunil Narine’s name brings the crowd back to its feet. Shane Watson is facing him in the 10th over, and the crowd is desperate to see his back. From ball one, Watson seems all at sea against Narine, completely unable to read him. The crowd pray for a wicket. As expected, Watson gets trapped in front of the wicket in the 5th ball, Narine appeals loudly with the crowd appealing louder. The dangerman is gone, and the loudspeakers belt out a chartbuster. The revellers dance, matching every step with the cheerleaders. e) Facepalm moment of the day – In the 17th over, Bisla misses a dolly off Narine. For a moment the crowd cannot believe it, and then they see the truth. The giant screen shows replays of the missed catch, and the crowd sighs. They do not boo Bisla. Instead, they do expert analysis of the drop and decide that Bisla is a ‘bokachoda’ (Quintessential Bengali expletive to describe a ‘useless dumbass’) f) Where is Dravid? – Throughout the game, the constant buzz goes ‘Where is Dravid’? Whispers like ‘Ah, he’ll come one-down, he’ll come two-down, he’ll come in the death overs’ almost end in exasperation as there is no sign of Dravid till the 19th over. Finally, Dravid decides to walk in after 19.3 overs at No. 8 and hits the first ball for a boundary through extra cover. The crowd does oohs and aahs and probably want more. However, during the last ball, the DJ destroys the flavour of the moment completely and roars ‘Let’s cheer KKR’. The copycat crowd joins in and spoil the Dravid-appreciation mood. RR fold up at 132. g) The chase – KKR starts solidly with a flurry of boundaries. The chaos is more organised now and the crowd more attentive. All the mechanical noise suddenly end when the DJ announces that they’ll play by the rule book and not play a single song after 10. The cheergirls gradually leave leaving a trail of broken hearts. The dancing public sulk. It seems more like cricket now. h) Bisla vs Watson – During the 4th over, Bisla and Watson get embroiled into a war of actions and words. Dravid intervenes, then Gambhir intervenes, then a whole lot of RR players run in. The crowd goes :rofl:. Eventually, the umpires sort it out and eventually Watson is sent near the boundary line (to field). The crowd heckle him mildly, and Watson responds with a broad smile. Some people show the ‘thumbs-down’ gesture to Watson. As Watson turns around to take a good look at the crowd, some people wave at Watson. A few people run towards the boundary line to click Watson with their phones. The policemen suddenly get busy and send the crowd back to its seats. i) One final spark – When everything looks good for KKR, RR wicketkeeper Dishant Yagnik suddenly decides to come up to the stumps and keep to Watson. The very next ball, he stumps Gambhir in an inspired moment of brilliance. The crowd whispers about the wicketkeeper's skills and compares this to their own keeping mistakes. Yousuf arrives now and people pray that some of his sixes come off today. j) Self-help – As KKR dominate the chase with Yusuf blazing away, the crowd tries to amuse itself in the absence of music or cheerleaders. A few Mexican waves take off and die down soon, and a lone trumpeter keeps going on as people clap to his rhythms. Everything seems too easy, and the crowd finds excuses to thrill itself. When KKR reaches ‘100’ they receive a thunderous clap and finally the audience braces itself in the expectation of Yusuf Pathan’s first 50 this season. But Kallis eventually steals the thunder scoring the winning runs, leaving the crowd high and dry. Epilogue – Though the match is over, the crowd now stands on the chairs hoping that they’ll see SRK one last time. SRK does not disappoint them, as he does a lazy victory stroll around the ground. A teenager chirps that this day has been the best day of her life. After a painfully prolonged stroll, SRK and his bandwagon disappear somewhere in the distance. Satisfied smiles are seen all around, and the crowd leaves with its head held high. Nobody probably expected such an easy victory, but they know that the real battles for qualification that lie ahead would be much more tougher. Away from Kolkata and the madding crowd.
CandyFloss Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 and decide that Bisla is a ‘bokachoda’ :cantstop: Shourobh :two_thumbs_up: :two_thumbs_up:
Gunner Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Bokachoda would quite literally translate as dumbfeck. Perfect word for Bisla :two_thumbs_up:
Magneto Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 Thanks peepal :dance: @Kandi - thanks :icflove: @Gauti - thanks for correcting my mistakes too :giggle: @Prakat - you are right, but I just took a wee bit of license @yoda and BG - thanks CSKites for the kind words after all the :fight: :winky: @ mhr123 and King Khan - thanks. But u should thank me too, my presence helped KKR win :proud: @ g_b - Hope Mumbai wins today :winky: @ maniac - :two_thumbs_up: - bowling pavaarhouse has won me over completely now
Mayuri_Dutha Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Fast bowling in slow motion - [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7RpSlGl_-k]FIDEL EDWARDS: Fast bowling in Super Slow Motion - YouTube[/ame]
Old guy Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 wow u finally won a match ? :omg: awesome write up as always ,i just wanna know that pistol was real na ?:D
Magneto Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 wow u finally won a match ? :omg: awesome write up as always ,i just wanna know that pistol was real na ?:D More CSK fans :woot: Thanks Strike Thanks DD fan and our closest rival fan Adi_b :weights: @ Sabby - Yeah it was :agree: :finger: My luck is finally changing I think. I won money betting on CSK against Punjab, KKR beat RR when I was supporting them and probably tonight PWI will also win. :dance: So what do I do with this? :hmmm:
Old guy Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 More CSK fans :woot: Thanks Strike Thanks DD fan and our closest rival fan Adi_b :weights: @ Sabby - Yeah it was :agree: :finger: My luck is finally changing I think. I won money betting on CSK against Punjab, KKR beat RR when I was supporting them and probably tonight PWI will also win. :dance: So what do I do with this? :hmmm: To south africa during test series aur kya:icflove:
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