Hindu son can divorce wife if she tries to separate him from aged parents

[beetle]

Quote

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/hindu-son-can-divorce-wife-if-she-tries-to-separate-him-from-aged-parents/article9196572.ece

What are your views ?

...not on the case but on the opinion  of the judges that are included in the judgment.

This is a  judgment based on instances of cruelty...

a)Attempted suicide that can be very traumatic for the partner...not to mention the legal problems arising from it.

2)Baseless accusations of adultery is considered cruelty and grounds for divorce.

3)Not wanting husband to financially support his parents.....again cruelty and it is against the law that makes it mandatory for children to provide for parents.

 

So on these counts,the wife was cruel and the divorce is lawfully justified.

 

So forget this particular case but focus on the unnecessary gyan given by the judges along with the ruling.

 

continued.....

Edited October 8, 2016 by radhika

[rkt.india]

agree with what is written in the title.

[BeautifulGame]

The only part I agree with that judgement

A woman becomes a part of the husband’s family and cannot seek to separate him from his parents for the sole reason that she wants to entirely enjoy his income, a Bench of Justices Anil R. Dave and L. Nageshwara Rao observed in a judgment.

Children do have an obligation to take care of their parents .

But most of the nonsense pious , our society our culture written in the judgement as being obligations of wife are pure nonsense .

[beetle]

1)Do you feel it is the duty of the wife to live with the in laws?

If so.....

A)what about equality here.

 

B) Does this not interfere with the woman's right to also care for her parents...specially in case of girls only family ,but also in general.

 

C) Does marrying their son give the inlaws a right to have a say in her interpersonal relationship with her parents...specially in the Indian context and considering the reality of joint family culture.(e.g---take permission to go to her parents place,when and how long she can stay there)

 

D)Is this not  somewhat like 'bonded labor'.You get married to the guy and have no right to decide how ,where you live .

 

E)If the guys parent spend on him and make sacrifices....then don't the girl's parents do the same+in a lot of cases give dowry too.If they can live on their own...why can't the guy's parents.How are the parents of girls  only so flexible ,so self reliant and so much less needy and clingy.

Why does the ' serving the parents' only reserved for the guy's family.

 

F) Do adult children have a right to live a life according to their wishes ...which may be different from the way their parents would like.

 

G)Do children have to live with parents to take care of them? Is it okay to live away from parents if they are not dependent.

 

H)For men who feel their wife should live with his parents ---What are they willing to do to serve and take care of the wife's parents....specially if she doesn't have a brother who can get someone else's child to take care of his parents.(although having a brother does not change her responsibility towards her parents ...specially now ,in the times of equal right to property)

 

 

I)Is this not the reason for gender discrimination ...even female infanticide in this country.

why have a daughter if she is to get educated,and serve someone else's family...to very often see her suffer because she has no option to  leave without destroying her marriage.

 

J) Does this not mean women are secondary citizens with no options on how to live their life?

 

 

Edited October 8, 2016 by radhika

[beetle]

8 minutes ago, BeautifulGame said:

The only part I agree with that judgement

 

Children do have an obligation to take care of their parents .

Does that mean the guy also has an obligation towards wife's parents ?And how is he expected to take care of wife's parents?......(her brother will do is not a good enough excuse....besides there are a large number of girls only families.)

[beetle]

19 minutes ago, rkt.india said:

agree with what is written in the title.

And the questionnaire...

Edited October 8, 2016 by radhika

[beetle]

Should these issues be decided before marriage ?

 

Girl:nuclear family only......or joint family but conditions apply.

guy: Joint family only ....but conditions apply.

 

If the guys family ask for the rishta saying....She will be our daughter ,we are very modern ......should these be the condition for joint family. If they do not treat her like that and the modern values changes for the 'bahu'....can the girl ask for a separate home without being called th 'home breaker' ?

[BeautifulGame]

Does that mean the guy also has an obligation towards wife's parents ?And how is he expected to take care of wife's parents?......(her brother will do is not a good enough excuse....besides there are a large number of girls only families.)

Absolutely it should be an obligation atleast on morality(atleast in my personal view).Moreso in our "pious and desirable culture " where bride family are forced to spend lakhs not only on dowry but also on the marriage itself .

[beetle]

We say marriages are between two families.....

Is it really true?Or is it primarily  between the guys family and the daughter in law....with the parents of the girl playing minor roles .

If you are a guy...how married are you to your wife's family and in what ways?

Edited October 8, 2016 by radhika

[beetle]

What happens when the girl's/boy's parents  try to bring distance(or as the judges mentioned...separate) between the young married couple. Do they get to divorce the guilty parents?

Edited October 8, 2016 by radhika

[FischerTal]

judiciary in india is nowadays obsessed with passing down judgements where they create their own version of the law, instead of deciding on whether a particular case passes constitutional validity. 

[beetle]

4 minutes ago, FischerTal said:

judiciary in india is nowadays obsessed with passing down judgements where they create their own version of the law, instead of deciding on whether a particular case passes constitutional validity. 

Agree...they should stick to the law instead of passing judgment based on personal opinions.

They could have just said...the wife is cruel and hence the divorce is granted.

or The husband wants to live with parents ,wife wants to stay separate.....both can't have their way...so better both part ways.

 

I guess this also gives them their few minutes of fame.

Edited October 8, 2016 by radhika

[rkt.india]

57 minutes ago, radhika said:

And the questionnaire...

I would says it is about choice and individual freedom whether man or woman. One should do whatever he or she is comfortable with, within the boundaries of the law. 

[vayuu1]

Does that mean the guy also has an obligation towards wife's parents ?And how is he expected to take care of wife's parents?......(her brother will do is not a good enough excuse....besides there are a large number of girls only families.)

But what if wife turns out to be pain in the a.. ,is always trying to manipulate husband, doesn't take care of the family, always goes to her parents home, doesn't have any attachment towards the boys parents and his family, remember marriage doesn't only happen between person, it's a relationship between families as well.

Sent from my SM-N900 using Tapatalk

[zen]

Agree with the title 

[zen]

4 hours ago, radhika said:

1)Do you feel it is the duty of the wife to live with the in laws?

If so.....

A)what about equality here.

 

B) Does this not interfere with the woman's right to also care for her parents...specially in case of girls only family ,but also in general.

 

C) Does marrying their son give the inlaws a right to have a say in her interpersonal relationship with her parents...specially in the Indian context and considering the reality of joint family culture.(e.g---take permission to go to her parents place,when and how long she can stay there)

 

D)Is this not  somewhat like 'bonded labor'.You get married to the guy and have no right to decide how ,where you live .

 

E)If the guys parent spend on him and make sacrifices....then don't the girl's parents do the same+in a lot of cases give dowry too.If they can live on their own...why can't the guy's parents.How are the parents of girls  only so flexible ,so self reliant and so much less needy and clingy.

Why does the ' serving the parents' only reserved for the guy's family.

 

F) Do adult children have a right to live a life according to their wishes ...which may be different from the way their parents would like.

 

G)Do children have to live with parents to take care of them? Is it okay to live away from parents if they are not dependent.

 

H)For men who feel their wife should live with his parents ---What are they willing to do to serve and take care of the wife's parents....specially if she doesn't have a brother who can get someone else's child to take care of his parents.(although having a brother does not change her responsibility towards her parents ...specially now ,in the times of equal right to property)

 

 

I)Is this not the reason for gender discrimination ...even female infanticide in this country.

why have a daughter if she is to get educated,and serve someone else's family...to very often see her suffer because she has no option to  leave without destroying her marriage.

 

J) Does this not mean women are secondary citizens with no options on how to live their life?

 

 

I can't relate the questions to the topic. After marriage, the girl usually adapts the husband's family surname in Ind. This shows that the girl goes on to accept the husband's family as her new family .... would you encourage your daughter to ask her husband to dump his parents just because she just joined the family?

 

And this verdict does not mean that harassment for dowry is legalized, women should not look after her parents too, etc. 

[beetle]

2 hours ago, zen said:

I can't relate the questions to the topic. After marriage, the girl usually adapts the husband's family surname in Ind. This shows that the girl goes on to accept the husband's family as her new family .... would you encourage your daughter to ask her husband to dump his parents just because she just joined the family?

 

And this verdict does not mean that harassment for dowry is legalized,etc.   women should not look after her parents too, etc. 

Just because a woman accepts the name of his family does not mean she has to live with the family only.

Women take up the husband's name in many places but there is no  'live with husband's family condition'.

 

I would like my daughter to have her own place where she and her husband could live the way they want to live.

Her home would be open for both sets of parents and they they would visit both sets of parents equally . When the day comes when parents have to be physically taken care of ,then both take care of both sets of parents either together...or each taking care of their parents,which ever is convenient.What is wrong with this arrangement?

 

This is the way we  live.This is the way both sets of parents have lived.

In fact from what I have read ,more than half the population in the country lives in nuclear family for what ever reason.

 

Would you encourage your son to ask his wife to abandon the people who raised her ,educated her just because she is married to a man?

 

How does a woman living in a joint family take care of her parents? In this country,she needs to take permission from in laws and husband before she can go to her parents place .

 

How easy is it for the girl's parents to live with their daughter, in the  in laws place for a long time  if they need to be taken care of ?

Just saying that women living in joint family should take care of her parents is far easier said than done.

How easy is it for a woman who is taking care of husband 's family to send financial help to her parents in need....if she is a housewife because she has to take care of children ,old in laws and the home.Even working women struggle to send a small part of her earnings to her parents without trouble at home.

 

A girl's parents take care of her,educate her,send her to husband's house to take care of them,these days even to work outside and earn money for them.....why are these parents not considered worthy of being taken care of by the son in law.

A wife has to live with and take care of parents in laws ....then you guys say,she should take care of her parents,who is stopping her?How is she supposed to take care of people in different places.

 

Edited October 8, 2016 by radhika

[beetle]

3 hours ago, vayuu1 said:

But what if wife turns out to be pain in the a.. ,is always trying to manipulate husband, doesn't take care of the family, always goes to her parents home, doesn't have any attachment towards the boys parents and his family, remember marriage doesn't only happen between person, it's a relationship between families as well.

Sent from my SM-N900 using Tapatalk

The same that happens when the husband turns out to be Ass......

 

Why is the husband getting manipulated?

 

What is wrong with going to parents place? Is it wrong for guy to go to his parents place?

 

How attached are most Indian husbands to wife's parents and family.... I am pretty sure in general , the  wife is more involved if not attached(because that comes with give and take of love)with the guys family than the husband is with the wife's family.

 

If marriages are between two families...how married are most Indian men to the wife's family? 

[vayuu1]

The same that happens when the husband turns out to be Ass......

 

Why is the husband getting manipulated?

 

What is wrong with going to parents place? Is it wrong for guy to go to his parents place?

 

How attached are most Indian husbands to wife's parents and family.... I am pretty sure in general , the  wife is more involved if not attached(because that comes with give and take of love)with the guys family than the husband is with the wife's family.

 

If marriages are between two families...how married are most Indian men to the wife's family? 

Their is nothing wrong in going to parents place, but the thing is if one forgets it's duty towards, it's family, that's where problem lies, saying that a guy is not caring towards girl family and girl is more attached to boys family, it may be true to an extent, but that is because of upbringing, I have seen many boys take care of Inlaws and have done a lot of things, on the other hand I have seen plenty of girl making their Inlaws life hell,and girls can go to anywhere they want, but one shouldn't forget his /her duty towards family.

Sent from my SM-N900 using Tapatalk

[zen]

2 minutes ago, radhika said:

Just because a woman accepts the name of his family does not mean she has to live with the family only.

Women take up the husband's name in many places but there is no  'live with husband's family condition'.

 

I would like my daughter to have her own place where she and her husband could live the way they want to live.

Her home would be open for both sets of parents and they they would visit both sets of parents equally . When the day comes when parents have to be physically taken care of then both take care of both sets of parents either together...or each taking care of their parents,which ever is convenient.

 

This is the way we  live.This is the way both sets of parents have lived.

In fact from what I have read ,more than half the population in the country lives in nuclear family for what ever reason.

 

Would you encourage your son to ask his wife to abandon the people who raised her ,educated her just because she is married to a man?

 

How does a woman living in a joint family take care of her parents? In this country,she needs to take permission from in laws and husband before she can go to her parents place .

 

How easy is it for the girl's parents to live with their daughter, in the  in laws place for a long time  if they need to be taken care of ?

Just saying that women living in joint family should take care of her parents is far easier said than done.

How easy is it for a woman who is taking care of husband 's family to send financial help to her parents in need....if she is a housewife because she has to take care of children ,old in laws and the home.Even working women struggle to send a small part of her earnings to her parents without trouble at home.

 

A girl's parents take care of her,educate her,send her to husband's house to take care of them,these days even to work outside and earn money for them.....why are these parents not considered worthy of being taken care of by the son in law.

A wife has to live with and take care of parents in laws ....then you guys say,she should take care of her parents,who is stopping her?How is she supposed to take care of people in different places.

 

How families should live should depend upon what is best for the respective families. Does the verdict talk about how families should live? It talks about giving divorce on grounds if the wife serves as an obstruction to help support husband's parents who are the heads of the husband's family where the girl is married in to 

 

One cannot marry the husband and not be a part of his family. From the girl's family side, they accept the girl to leave the family once married (daughters are considered as amanet)

 

All responsible families allow girl parents to be taken care of on humanitarian grounds. I don't know of many parents (girl's) who would want to do that on a permanent basis at the "girl's husband's house"  because of the reasons already discussed. It is more likely that honorable families are likely to ask their daughters to treat husband's parents above themselves 

 

It appears as if you have taken the verdict as a this vs that scenario where none exists