punjabiplaya Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb
punjabiplaya Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 There was a young rabbi, who on Sabbath Eve announces to the congregation that he will be leaving for a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a silence. No one wants him to leave. Cohen, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new BMW every year, and his lovely wife with a Range Rover, to transport their children!" The congregation sighs and applauds. Feinstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands up and says, "If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a college fund to guarantee the college education of his children!" More sighs and applause. Old Mrs. Horowitz, aged 96, stands and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I will have sex with him!" There is a silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Horowitz, whatever possessed you to say that?" Mrs. Horowitz answers, "I just asked Mr. Horowitz what we could do to make the rabbi stay. Mr. Horowitz said,"f**k the rabbi." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 A woman decides to get a porno, so she goes to the store and picks one with a fairly dirty title. When she plays the movie, the screen gets fuzzy and nothing is going on. When she calls the store about the movie, they ask her what the title was, and she says, "Head Cleaner." :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 Im not racist I said to my son the other day, "kiddo, remember this - you can have as many paki friends as you want, but as soon as one of them buys a rucksack, you can feck off."
vayuu1 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 गर्ल्स हॉस्टिल की लाईट 3 दिन से बंद थी.. तंग आकर वार्डन ने डिपार्टमेंट को फोन किया और कहा.. 3 दिन से लड़कियां मोमबत्ती से काम चला रही है.. आज तो आदमी भेज दो. सरदार का प्रमोशन इनस्पेक्टर से DSP हो गया. जिससे वो बड़ा खुश था। उसने अपनी ख़ुशी को घर आकर वाइफ को ऐसे अंदाज़ में बताया.. कि वाइफ बेहोश हो गई..? सरदार बोला : आज से तू DSP के साथ सोएगी… वासना, प्यार और शादी में क्या फ़र्क है ? संता : वासना मे पेंटी को फाड़ते हैं, प्यार मे उतारते हैं, और शादी मे धोकर सुखाकर अलमारी मे रखते हैं. पप्पू : मम्मी कल पापा कामवाली को सोफे पर लेटाकर. ... . . मम्मी : अभी नहीं बेटा..! जब रात को जब पापा आयें तो फिर बताना....! . . पापा के आते ही… . मम्मी : हाँ बेटा अब बताओ कि क्या हुआ? . . पप्पू : पापा कामवाली को सोफे पर लेटाकर जो शर्मा अंकल आप के साथ करते हैं… वो कर रहे थे. SEX k baad Pati BRA dete hue- Ye lo apne "Doodh k Dhakkan" Unsatisfied Wife-Gusse se, Underwear dete hue-''Ye lo apne Murday ka Kafan''. Sardar ne Taxi bechkar XEROX ki shop khol li.. Dost ne pucha to bataya. Yaara dil khush ho jata hai jab ladkiyan aakar kehti hain "aage piche dono side karna
punjabiplaya Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 Naughty boy draws a p*nis on a black board. Lady teacher rubs it off. Next day he draws a bigger one and writes: "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS! kumar713 1
vayuu1 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 कनाडा के बार मे सतां ने पन्जाबी कुड़ी को एक नीग्रो की बाँहों मे बाँहें डाले आते देखा सतां : अस्सी पन्जाबी मर गे ने जेहरा नीग्रो नाल फिरदी आ...?? कुड़ी : जिथ्थों तक त्वाडी p*nis जान्दी है, औत्थो तक ते जीभ फेर देन्दे अगले...
Sachin=GOD Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 ओबामा - बताओ राहुल, यदि तुम्हें 5 मिनट के लिए भारत का प्रधानमंत्री बना दिया जाए तो तुम क्या करोगे? राहुल - हम मैगी बनाएंगे। ओबामा - मैगी क्यों? राहुल - क्योंकि, 5 मिनट में तो मैगी ही बन सकती है। ओबामा - यदि तुम्हें 5 साल के लिए भारत का प्रधानमंत्री बना दिया जाए तो क्या करोगे? राहुल - 5 साल के लिए हम नहीं बनेंगे। ओबामा - क्यों? राहुल - इतनी मैगी कौन खाएगा???
Sachin=GOD Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 If Bilawal Bhutto ever gets jailed, Indians will get him bailed out because दुश्मन के छक्के छुड़ा दें हम India वाले
Laaloo Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 If Bilawal Bhutto ever gets jailed, Indians will get him bailed out because दुश्मन के छक्के छुड़ा दें हम India वाले :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 A South Wales bus company says it will withdraw an advertising campaign which shows an attractive semi-naked woman on the back of buses holding a billboard which reads: "Ride me all day for £3". Local prostitutes complained the advert was misleading as it depicted an unrealistic level of attractiveness and undercut their price by 25% :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 I went to a sex shop and brought a black blow-up doll. I took it home, blew it up and it mugged me.
punjabiplaya Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up." The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."
punjabiplaya Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Tried a chat up line with new secretary...... Hey girl, were you born on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a ****.
adi B Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick." :haha::haha::haha: :hysterical:
adi B Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Tried a chat up line with new secretary...... Hey girl, were you born on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a ****. Haha,heard that line few times
adi B Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Wife: 2 बच्चे हैं हमारे, 1 लड़का और 1 लड़की। क्यों न परिवार नियोजन कर लें? Arun lal: 1 या 2 से संतुष्ट नहीं होना चाहिए, छक्के का प्रयास करना होगा। Sent from my MI 3W using Tapatalk This is the most hilarious joke I've read :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
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