Jersey #10 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 We had only one servant who did dishes, washed cloths and swept the floors every day. Never really looked down at her, rather treated her like a family member. I don't think much has changed since moving abroad.
Raghav_12 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Well... In cultured houses of India, servents are treated like family members and given appropriate respect. There are few others who may learn to do so after being abroad, if they did not know that already. But overall you would forget doing so many good things, if you have been abroad for too long. So going abroad is too high a cost to learn how to respect servents :winky:
Raghav_12 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 ^^ Thats bigger than a ambrose bouncer Dramatized my response a bit :-). Apologies if you find that offending. But my point was that in general I have found people having more mutual respect in India rather than in US and Europe. I know this is way too much generalization, but at an average I am talking about.
f.b.m Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I know the OP didn't mean it in that sense, but I find the whole notion of " your thoughts towards servants change when you return from xyz" as very condescending. Its not as if all those who have servants in India mistreat them or look down upon them all the time. Not denying that the looking down happens, but thats not limited to servants alone, but to almost everyone from that strata of the society. Watchmen, valets, post men, BMC people, Himesh Reshamiya etc. I haven't lived abroad much, except for as a tourist or a visitor. From my experience, the UAE is no different from India in its treatment of servants. And in Kenya, the servants are much worse off vis a vis India. Just my limited observations. I don't recollect seeing any servants in Europe / US, but thats more a result of economics than the mindset of a society. When you pay them that much ( as a percentage of your income), you tend to have more respect. It sure does make a HUGE difference if you have lived for a couple of years without a servant, become a bit more responsible and the whole concept of 'house maids' seems a little uneasy. I hope I never hire (or become) a 'servant', it just seems like a waste of life to me :|. Then again, I suppose they're happy to do this over other jobs.
Chaos Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I and my family were always cool with our servants. Sometimes' date=' this led to problems as the servants would sit on our head sometimes. My [b']bava always used to say to maintain lines :D Neeyaba
Rajiv Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Dramatized my response a bit :-). Apologies if you find that offending. But my point was that in general I have found people having more mutual respect in India rather than in US and Europe. I know this is way too much generalization, but at an average I am talking about. Again, it was a Bouncer
coffee_rules Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Again' date=' it was a Bouncer[/quote'] He is saying that if yours was a cultured (sic) house, you would have respected the 'servants' even before emigrating abroad.
Mariyam Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 It sure does make a HUGE difference if you have lived for a couple of years without a servant' date=' become a bit more responsible and the whole concept of 'house maids' seems a little uneasy. I hope I never hire (or become) a 'servant', it just seems like a waste of life to me :|. Then again, I suppose they're happy to do this over other jobs.[/quote'] Fair point. Most of us in India ( upper middle class and above) have not had to manage life without a domestic help. We probably do take a lot of things for granted.
Rajiv Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 He is saying that if yours was a cultured (sic) house, you would have respected the 'servants' even before emigrating abroad. Actually my post was for my original comment, but I knww what he means. I knew this sindhi family since I was a kid, who had a domestic help since a long time and was fluent in sindhi even though she was Maharashtrian. I actually didn't know she worked there, it was a big family so I always assumed she was someone's wife or something. My Jain friend had a "Maharaj" ( Cook ) who had his strict rules for the kitchen and that man could cook some of the best "daals" I ever had. He basically called the shots Then you have the bhaiyyas ( teenage guy ) helps around the house, but it used to be awkward when they are told to basically pick up shoes and shouted at frequently. The justification is that they need to told at, so they don't become too comfortable
Zap_Brannigan Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I knew someone who lived in a big city and pretty much everyone in the household were well educated (atleast in academics). IIRC both parents were professors. They used to re-wash their dishes that the servants washed because the help were from a lower caste. I didn't have the heart to ask how else they treated their servants. So its not all roses and peaches. Quiet understandingly, noone here will admit if they treated their servants badly but it happens a lot in India.
Ram Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I have always treated our house-maids with respect. If anything, I gave them more respect than I did my parents. I used to call them ‘vaanga, ponga..’, which is the tamizh equivalent of ‘ji’. :D But why would I feel guilty about getting work done from them? I(we) pay them, they do their job, its as simple as that. If anything, its good to remind them every once in a while who’s boss. From my experience, the moment they start feeling comfortable, their work begins to slack, their times becomes erratic, they ask for the occasional 100, 200 rs. (or advance, as it is called back home..). Its not like in the US, where you pay someobody and they’re by and large, extremely professional. In our country, you have to put your foot down every once in a while because the moment you give people liberties, they start abusing it. And that is why I keep telling my mom not to get too cosy with our maids. P.S; Khota/Dk are 100%. These days, because of the massive demand, its the house-maids that call the shots.
Jersey #10 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Just to add to what i said earlier, I would probably respect servants a bit more having done all the house chores my self for a decade now. I think I have better understood the value their commitment and work. I also feel that they are underpaid for the kind of work they do. I would probably pay them a few folds more money for their work.
DomainK Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I have always treated our house-maids with respect. If anything' date=' I gave them more respect than I did my parents. I used to call them ‘[i']vaanga, ponga..’, which is the tamizh equivalent of ‘ji’. :D But why would I feel guilty about getting work done from them? I(we) pay them, they do their job, its as simple as that. If anything, its good to remind them every once in a while who’s boss. From my experience, the moment they start feeling comfortable, their work begins to slack, their times becomes erratic, they ask for the occasional 100, 200 rs. (or advance, as it is called back home..). Its not like in the US, where you pay someobody and they’re by and large, extremely professional. In our country, you have to put your foot down every once in a while because the moment you give people liberties, they start abusing it. And that is why I keep telling my mom not to get too cosy with our maids. P.S; Khota/Dk are 100%. These days, because of the massive demand, its the house-maids that call the shots. Good post. Fully agree with everything.
Desi Cartman Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I feel very sad for their condition but at the same time its good that they at least have a job. Only problem is that the income is too low for these people. Even if they make like 4k a month ( nanny for my sister's daughter ) , how can she feed her family in that much money ? The ones who come to clean and do the dishes also probably make the same amount of money but Rs 4000 is not a lot in Delhi these days and these people work from 7 am till 8 pm .. In case of nanny she is there 24 hrs a day
yoda Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Anyone who thinks maids in India are by and large treated well is delusional. In India, respect is given based on the work you do, unlike in the west, where even a gardener is and must be treated the same as your neighbor. This has nothing to do with lack of "maid" servants in the west as alluded to by some, it is just the culture. People in the west treat each other with respect, in general, whereas in India, we respect parents, grand parents, bosses, people of importance, etc, but when it comes to respect between aam junta or respect for those who do "menial" jobs, it is more an exception than the norm.
jf1gp_1 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Anyone who thinks maids in India are by and large treated well is delusional. In India, respect is given based on the work you do, unlike in the west, where even a gardener is and must be treated the same as your neighbor. This has nothing to do with lack of "maid" servants in the west as alluded to by some, it is just the culture. People in the west treat each other with respect, in general, whereas in India, we respect parents, grand parents, bosses, people of importance, etc, but when it comes to respect between aam junta or respect for those who do "menial" jobs, it is more an exception than the norm. was true till maybe 5yrs ago not anymore not in the big cities atleast. One of our neighbors would mistreat all domestic help , went through 3-4 different ones in a matter of 6 months today noone is willing to work at their house and without any domestic help. Goto Delhi their are areas you just cannot find any domestic help i know of ppl who are switching to dishwasher in India; dishwashers in India are just unheard off. Job of domestic help is looked down upon no doubt; but in big cities (atleast blore and Delhi) you just cannot mistreat them and expect them to take it
Mariyam Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 ^^^ Who told you that dishwashers are unheard of in India? We have a dishwasher at home. His name is Munna.
jhakati Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 This is mostly for folks who live or have spent a substantial amount of time outside India. Considering most ICF'ers here who probably had some type of domestic help ( called Servants in India ) in their life, how would you see them if you were in India now. I am saying this as we get used to equality and typically there is no culture of domestic help by large and even so, they are treated with respect( ** bad in rare cases ** ) Hypothetical or reality, can you treat or talk to your domestic help the same way you did when you were in India before immigration? for eg., - if your help bows down to pick your shoes, typically in India, you would stand ground but now there will be an inkling feeling to move away We all know how they are treated in India, its utterly shameful but thats how it is Question inspired by Dhobi Ghaat ur completely right, and spot on with ur views. i too did not give much thought to my servants in india back home. however after being in the states and seeing the value of human life and value given to labor work here, definitely makes u feel how much for granted we take servants in india, as in hard work for a very low pay, and sometimes lack of respect.
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