The Great Indian Stare

[StatsRock]

Never experienced this stare thingy. It is typically a silent acknowledgment of a fellow Indian. Then again in the SF Bay area if you are surprised seeing an Indian' date=' you are probably a Caucasian from the South than an Indian.[/quote'] I got gheraoed by 3 different amway jerks in my 1st week in the bay area. I played along like a dumb sheep to all of them and after they had paid $6/$12 to book a seat for me(and wifey) in the next Amway suckers conference, I disappeared without a trace :--D

[StatsRock]

Sticking to the topic, I was ambling to the tennis court of an hotel in atlanta(just 2 days after landing in US for the 1st time) when about 200 feet away, 2 desis parked their car and got out. One of them pointed to me and smiled at his buddy("LOOK! there is another one of us!). Pissed, I just grinned back broadly and waved, forcing the guys to smile and wave back.

[Vijay.Sharma]

I thought it was a local phenomenon. Me ex wife used to get stared at quite a lot initially and she is the shy types but after a few months the stares became lesser. It's almost as if ppl realized she has been here for sometime now. Is it something we give off thru our body language when we are in a different country? I had an experience of this stare in Manila. Now, Manila has a huge population of Indians there...the locals call them 5-6 "five six". I asked a cab driver once why they refer to Indians as five six. It seems most of the desis there are money lenders, they give 5000 pesos as advance every month and every day they come and collect 200 pesos in effect earning them 6000 pesos. Most of them are from the community that you guessed. But once while walking to my client's office I saw this sardar fellow (I had seen him a few times by then and was told by the restaurant owner opposite my appartele that he was also a five six which came as a surprise - didnt figure sardars would do money lending). The guy was going on his scooter like thing with probably his wife sitting behind. Our eyes met and out of feel-goodness I gave him a wide smile (I was feeling happy that there was a fellow Indian around). Harami saala gave me the stare of my life! But I had a better experience with another Indian fellow...I bought a guitar there and the shop owner was a 50+ desi living in Philippines for decades. He was a nice guy and tried to speak to me in broken Hindi. Desis in KL also have been friendly with me generally

[Desi Cartman]

Once I smiled at a desi 3-4 yr old kid since he was looking at me in a plane which had passengers returning from canada, the kids mom just picked him up and gave me a stare which I will never forget

[Chaos]

No ****. I get stared everywhere i go, as if he is askin me "how the *** r you this big, what the eff do u eat, where you from, why do u have a white gf". I hate it btw, and if a person still stares at me i normally ask him what he is lookin at, unless he / she is eldery person!

[Blue Panther]

Once I smiled at a desi 3-4 yr old kid since he was looking at me in a plane which had passengers returning from canada' date=' the kids mom just picked him up and gave me a stare which I will never forget [/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Rajiv]

Once I smiled at a desi 3-4 yr old kid since he was looking at me in a plane which had passengers returning from canada' date=' the kids mom just picked him up and gave me a stare which I will never forget [/quote'] I feel worried to hold someone's baby and give me em a kiss.

[Vijay.Sharma]

^^ o yeah, what's with that? I am told that in the US if you show appreciation to a kid...u know like kuchi kuchi pinch their cheeks...it's considered a sin of the highest order. Is everyone a pedo there? Man, I just hope our culture dunn turn out like that

[Holysmoke]

^^ o yeah' date=' what's with that? I am told that in the US if you show appreciation to a kid...u know like kuchi kuchi pinch their cheeks...it's considered a sin of the highest order. Is everyone a pedo there? Man, I just hope our culture dunn turn out like that[/quote'] :hysterical: Nope, it aint like that.

[coffee_rules]

^No touching allowed, definitely. I hated it even in India. They should respect physical boundaries.

[StatsRock]

^^ o yeah' date=' what's with that? I am told that in the US if you show appreciation to a kid...u know like kuchi kuchi pinch their cheeks...it's considered a sin of the highest order. Is everyone a pedo there? Man, I just hope our culture dunn turn out like that[/quote'] It will in another 20 years when we accomodate same sex relationships. I'd never approach a stranger(female) 10 years younger on the road....in a few decades I guess men approaching boys in public places(ask for directions, etc) will be viewed in the same light.

[Mariyam]

^No touching allowed' date=' definitely. I hated it even in India. They should respect physical boundaries.[/quote'] A woman ruffling a young guy's hair, or lightly pinching the cheeks of a sweet girl is totally acceptable. And it is quite a prevalent practice.

[Desi Cartman]

I always had chubby cheeks and hated when every uncle aunty used to pull my cheeks and smile. It used to hurt and NO it's not an acceptable way to show affection

[yoda]

I always had chubby cheeks and hated when every uncle aunty used to pull my cheeks and smile. It used to hurt and NO it's not an acceptable way to show affection

++ hated that. yea count me in the no touch club.

[coffee_rules]

Some old uncles (esp in marriages) do the pinching cheeks to even grownup women.

[WC2011INDIA]

++ hated that. yea count me in the no touch club.

+++ me too

[Vijay.Sharma]

Well, the pinching cheeks is just an example...the main point being the stigma associated with touching a child who is not yours when the intent has nothing to do with pedo-giri. This whole thing about generalizations and profiling - I mean each and everyone of us adults is being profiled as a pedo by default, innit? Edit - I don't understand what Mariyam is implying here - only men are capable of being pedos?

A woman ruffling a young guy's hair, or lightly pinching the cheeks of a sweet girl is totally acceptable.

Is the stigma in the USA and UK only against men. How do ppl react if a woman touches a kid - is that acceptable?

[coffee_rules]

Well, the pinching cheeks is just an example...the main point being the stigma associated with touching a child who is not yours when the intent has nothing to do with pedo-giri. This whole thing about generalizations and profiling - I mean each and everyone of us adults is being profiled as a pedo by default, innit? Edit - I don't understand what Mariyam is implying here - only men are capable of being pedos? Is the stigma in the USA and UK only against men. How do ppl react if a woman touches a kid - is that acceptable?

WIth many teachers taking adv of boys, this stigma is slowly covering both sexes..although people rarely violate physical boundaries. It is taught right from kindergarten. You don't see young boy6s going around with hands on each other shoulders (like we used to do in India). Other day, I saw two old men from India, walking like that. It was so ****ing odd. I am sure, a lot of local people would think they were a couple.

[Desi Cartman]

OTOH whats the need/point of touching kids ? If they are friends or family then obviously no one minds giving a cuddle to the little ones but I dont think its appropriate behaviour with strangers. We have no idea about the number of kids who get molested in India. I am sure there are 1000s of cases. I know few people who have been molested by relatives and even nearby dukaan wala. They were little and inncocent and didnt realize what was happening at that time but now when they look back, they are sure that the behaviour wasnt appropriate.

[flamy]

A woman ruffling a young guy's hair' date=' or lightly pinching the cheeks of a sweet girl is totally acceptable. And it is quite a prevalent practice.[/quote'] I totally approve that