Texy Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 OK i have a question. This might sound disrespectful but that is not my intention at all. Will the society look down upon a martyred soldier's widow if she remarries? There are many widows out there with their whole lives ahead of them. Do we as a society expect them to live the rest of their lives in the shadow of their fallen husbands? Do we the society judge and ridicule those widows who get remarried? Again no disrespect to the fallen.
G_B_ Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 OK i have a question. This might sound disrespectful but that is not my intention at all. Will the society look down upon a martyred soldier's widow if she remarries? There are many widows out there with their whole lives ahead of them. Do we as a society expect them to live the rest of their lives in the shadow of their fallen husbands? Do we the society judge and ridicule those widows who get remarried? Again no disrespect to the fallen. I would not. Soceity i am afriad would....
AmreekanDesi Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 OK i have a question. This might sound disrespectful but that is not my intention at all. Will the society look down upon a martyred soldier's widow if she remarries? There are many widows out there with their whole lives ahead of them. Do we as a society expect them to live the rest of their lives in the shadow of their fallen husbands? Do we the society judge and ridicule those widows who get remarried? Again no disrespect to the fallen. yes. we have a logn way to go on topic I feel iur veterans do not get remotely as much respect on an institutional and government level in terms of benefits etc as US veterans do
beetle Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 OK i have a question. This might sound disrespectful but that is not my intention at all. Will the society look down upon a martyred soldier's widow if she remarries? There are many widows out there with their whole lives ahead of them. Do we as a society expect them to live the rest of their lives in the shadow of their fallen husbands? Do we the society judge and ridicule those widows who get remarried? Again no disrespect to the fallen. A lot of the younger ones do get married.I can't say how the society outside the Armed forces family feels...but it is not looked down upon .I know some widows who remarried a man in uniform and it is considered fine.One of my friends who died during training got married to his course mate after a few years.....everyone was happy for both of them.Don't know the reaction of the first husband's family though.I also know one who married her brother in law(husband's brother) who was in the Army too.
HippoSucks Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 OK i have a question. This might sound disrespectful but that is not my intention at all. Will the society look down upon a martyred soldier's widow if she remarries? There are many widows out there with their whole lives ahead of them. Do we as a society expect them to live the rest of their lives in the shadow of their fallen husbands? Do we the society judge and ridicule those widows who get remarried? Again no disrespect to the fallen. I would. Marriage isn't a means of survival. You don't marry someone so that they can provide you basic necessities throughout your life. You marry someone because you "love" them and wish to live with them for the rest of your life, and I don't see how you can have that feeling towards more than one person.
beetle Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 I would. Marriage isn't a means of survival. You don't marry someone so that they can provide you basic necessities throughout your life. You marry someone because you "love" them and wish to live with them for the rest of your life' date=' and I don't see how you can have that feeling towards more than one person.[/quote'] So...are you against second marriages? Or widows marrying ? or Martyr's widow remarrying....or against the whole concept of marrying without being in love......like arranged marriages....or do you believe in only loving once.
beetle Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Request to Moderators Can you please shift the posts from and after Texy's post to another thread so that the original thread is not derailed and the newer topic can be discussed ? Sorry for the trouble.
veer Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 I would. Marriage isn't a means of survival. You don't marry someone so that they can provide you basic necessities throughout your life. You marry someone because you "love" them and wish to live with them for the rest of your life' date=' and I don't see how you can have that feeling towards more than one person.[/quote'] Ohh god.. Either you are too young or you are not married yet. You dont know what you are talking about.
HippoSucks Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 So...are you against second marriages? Or widows marrying ? or Martyr's widow remarrying....or against the whole concept of marrying without being in love......like arranged marriages....or do you believe in only loving once. I'm against all of that other than arranged marriages or remarrying after divorcing with a husband you never wanted to marry in the first place (e.g. a drunkard). Ohh god.. Either you are too young or you are not married yet. You dont know what you are talking about. Obviously I am not married yet, but I'm pretty confident my opinion would remain the same even if I was. As for being young, it depends on what you classify as "young".
beetle Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 I'm against all of that other than arranged marriages or remarrying after divorcing with a husband you never wanted to marry in the first place (e.g. a drunkard). Do you realize most arranged marriages happen for a million reason other than love.(from your last post that you marry for love). How about divorcing a husband (lets make it spouse)who is violent or commits adultery?
HippoSucks Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Do you realize most arranged marriages happen for a million reason other than love.(from your last post that you marry for love). How about divorcing a husband (lets make it spouse)who is violent or commits adultery? I never said marriages should happen because of a mutual attraction, I said that it should be developed into one throughout the marriage and thereafter that sort of feeling can not be replicated for someone else (or at least shouldn't). As I said, if you never truly were attached to that person then it is alright, in my opinion.
vvvslaxman Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Even in movies they are afraid of showing more often.
beetle Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 In my opinion...if you truely love a person...your biggest fear would be, your partner being alone and lonely after you are gone.I would not want my spouse to be alone and lonely all his life if I am not around(meaning death...not gone for grocery shopping:--D)
Rajiv Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Widow remarrying is best, no ex-husband ka lafda or chance meeting or future issues..total new life
Cricketics Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Let people do what they want to do and the society, especially Society of India can least do is, be judgemental aka mind your own business. Someone recently in my family did this and even though it was shocking for us to witness earlier(it's an obvious first reaction coming from a culture like India.) but eventually we all got used to it now. I do believe that you have to pay respect and be in touch to the deceased person's family all your life even though you have found someone else.
beetle Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Let people do what they want to do and the society, especially Society of India can least do is, be judgemental aka mind your own business. Someone recently in my family did this and even though it was shocking for us to witness earlier(it's an obvious first reaction coming from a culture like India.) but eventually we all got used to it now. I do believe that you have to pay respect and be in touch to the deceased person's family all your life even though you have found someone else. Unfortunately ...in a patriarchal society like ours...it often depends on the man she marries and his family whether she is allowed to stay in touch.It is very sad.
Aaku Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 I'm against all of that other than arranged marriages or remarrying after divorcing with a husband you never wanted to marry in the first place (e.g. a drunkard). So the only valid grounds for divorce is abusive spouse or adultery ? :hmmm:
Cricketics Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Unfortunately ...in a patriarchal society like ours...it often depends on the man she marries and his family whether she is allowed to stay in touch.It is very sad. Yeah, agreed.
Precambrian Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Have seen it happen in my extended family. The first husband was abusive, got divorced and remarried. Now they're happily married for over two decades. Nobody in our family discriminates or sees the lady in a different way than before. Rather noone even thinks about all that stuff. Maybe in the very short term there might be murmurs - like how can she remarry so quickly, etc etc, but as with everything, its personal freedom and wish. And lol at some immature comments above against re marriage. Love is an undefinable thing. Just like in love life, there is NO guarantee that post marriage that spark is going to be there forever. likewise who are we to say that a person can't fall in love again just because she was married once? Honestly, grieving is a private matter. It was not really good on part of NDTV to interview the poor lady - although she came out absolutely brilliantly through it. She lost her husband, nobody needs to be reminded how that would feel like. Let her grieve and get over it. Leave all these things to themselves and respect their privacy..
HippoSucks Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 So the only valid grounds for divorce is abusive spouse or adultery ? :hmmm: Most definitely not. However, the only grounds for remarriage (in my opinion) are that or a lack of attachment with your husband. Not death.
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