Fictional dialogue b/w Kohli and Ashwin (feat. Shastri)

[Temujin Khaghan]

Virat - You iz dropped!!

Ashwin - Saar Saar.. This is Rombha Rombha injustice saar, please Virat saar. Some of the batsmen morons like Dhawan, Pujara can hardly score 200 runs in an overseas series but yet they keep their places, Shikar Dhawan lost his place THREE EFFING times in overseas tours, but again picked for this series? But I, the No.5 ranked bowler in the world, will lose my place because some rookie has done well in ODI cricket. This is equivalent to replacing Rahane with Rohit Sharma in test cricket, because Rohu has done well in a Mickey Mouse ODI series.... oh wait, actually you have already done that I think..

(Virat gets impatient. shakes his head, clicks his tongue... tsk tsk tsk)

Shastri - (taking his master's prompt and shooting an angry stare at Ashwin) SHHHHHAAAAADAAAAAPPPPP!!

(Ashwin looks a stunned cow caught in the middle of Chennai traffic, like VVS when he is bowled)

Virat - (commanding tone) Obey...!

(Shastri is distracted, like a mutt he is looking for a squirrel he just spotted from the corner of his eye across the window..)

(Virat thwacks the back of Shastri's head. Shastri cries like a hurt dog and whimpers while rubbing his head with his paw...)

Virat - (this time looking towards Shastri...slowly, deliberately like dealing with a retard) OBEY....or? 

Shastri - (gathers himself, looks straight into Ashwin's eyes) or Perish...

(he finishes it with a winning smile and a wave of his hand across the space infront of him.)

(Kohli tosses a biscuit, Shastri's arm goes like a tracer bullet to grasp it in mid air and gobbles it immediately like coconut stealing temple monkey)

Kohli - (condescendingly to Shastri, while patting him on his head) good boy!!  

 

Ashwin - (hurt, almost crying but not yet) I will complain to the BCCI that you are doing like this to me...

(Virat takes out his mobile, shows ashwin a contact named BCCI, dials it, switches on speaker mode... someone picks it up )

BCCI - Hello... Bosss?

Virat - DOG BARK!!!

BCCI - au au au au avuuuuuuuuuuu...

Virat - CAT MEOW!!!

BCCI - meow meow meow meeeeeeowwwwwwww me ow

Virat - Talk like a Blabbering Fool..

BCCI - Helluu I yam Shoeeaib Akhtaaeear, I yam baarn in Rowalpyindai, thats why I having YemiriKKan yaxent..

Virat - ok goodnight (and he cuts the call with the same disdain that rohit sharma cuts a tracer bullet straight medium pace delivery)

Ashwin - (incredulously) But But But ...

Virat - (bad mimicry of ashwin) but but but... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Virat - goodbye!! (snaps his fingers, Shastri runs ahead of him and keeps the door open)

(just before leaving the room, Kohli looks at ashwin) 

Kohli - (patronising tone) dont cry, I will send curd and pasta to your room..

Ashwin - (baffled) what?

Kohli - abey BC! Thats what SRK eats in a southie role in that Chammakk Challo movie. Where else do you get your General Knowledge BC? reading books? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (looking at Shastri, waving a biscuit) Who is a good boy? Who is a good boy?

 

Ashwin stares blankly as both of them leave. 

Edited July 27, 2018 by Temujin Khaghan

[rkt.india]

do you think they talk so much?  

[speedheat]

Your thread reminds me of this  video

Lol, kohli vs dhoni rap Battle, don't get personal just enjoy, although its an old video (2015 after dhoni gave up test captaincy) I just love and enjoy those funny dialogues lol.

[beetle]

51 minutes ago, rkt.india said:

do you think they talk so much?  

I believe ashwin does....he is always talking according to...hmmmmm everybody.

[sscomp32]