Page 2 : Hilarious article

[vamos_rafa]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/blogs/content/story/787189.html Some of the lines are pretty :hysterical:

[Sachin=GOD]

Tendulnuts SV: Is there a cricketer called Sam Trumpington? KA: No. I just say that to make Sachin fans go and waste three days desperately going through the ESPNcricinfo archives to prove that Tendulkar is better than Trumpington. Great fun. I once made a fake Sam Trumpington Wikipedia profile with Sangakkara's statistics and an old photo of Intikhab Alam. Tendulnuts went mad vandalising the page. :hysterical: KA: My son is a huge fan of Sachin. Unfortunately his full name is VV Sandeep Jacques Kallis Ambwani. At home we call him by his pet name: Rahul. Drives him insane.:hysterical:

[Lord]

SV: Is there a cricketer called Sam Trumpington? KA: No. I just say that to make Sachin fans go and waste three days desperately going through the ESPNcricinfo archives to prove that Tendulkar is better than Trumpington. Great fun. I once made a fake Sam Trumpington Wikipedia profile with Sangakkara's statistics and an old photo of Intikhab Alam. Tendulnuts went mad vandalising the page.

[vamos_rafa]

These plus the last line were the best one's IMO.

[sscomp32]

Tendulnuts SV: Is there a cricketer called Sam Trumpington? KA: No. I just say that to make Sachin fans go and waste three days desperately going through the ESPNcricinfo archives to prove that Tendulkar is better than Trumpington. Great fun. I once made a fake Sam Trumpington Wikipedia profile with Sangakkara's statistics and an old photo of Intikhab Alam. Tendulnuts went mad vandalising the page. :hysterical: KA: My son is a huge fan of Sachin. Unfortunately his full name is VV Sandeep Jacques Kallis Ambwani. At home we call him by his pet name: Rahul. Drives him insane.:hysterical:

:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:

[velu]

so OP is googling about sachin haterz :hehe:

[vamos_rafa]

so OP is googling about sachin haterz :hehe:

:--D Well no!

[gaurav92]

Great article :hysterical:

[kumar713]

Tendulnuts SV: Is there a cricketer called Sam Trumpington? KA: No. I just say that to make Sachin fans go and waste three days desperately going through the ESPNcricinfo archives to prove that Tendulkar is better than Trumpington. Great fun. I once made a fake Sam Trumpington Wikipedia profile with Sangakkara's statistics and an old photo of Intikhab Alam. Tendulnuts went mad vandalising the page. :hysterical: KA: My son is a huge fan of Sachin. Unfortunately his full name is VV Sandeep Jacques Kallis Ambwani. At home we call him by his pet name: Rahul. Drives him insane.:hysterical:

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[littlemaster1982]

SV: Fair enough. In the early days it would have been easy to criticise Sachin. But later it must have been very hard, as he became more popular? KA: Yes. But the trick is to do it subtly. I recall in 1993 or 1994 my company organised a "Greatest Batsman In The World" theme party for all the staff. So I went dressed as Saeed Anwar. It was hilarious, except that I got transferred to the warehouse department.

This one cracked me up :hysterical:

[sourab10forever]

chuck that sharapova...catch this as****e.. Not sachin's mistake that he has so many fans.

[Crookbond]

Awesome! I hope people didn't miss this part.

SV: How cruel. Finally, can you tell us about the book? KA: Haters Will Hate (With Statistics): Sachin Can Take The Highway is the story of my life being critical of Sachin. It will be released on the same day as Sachin's book. I am very excited about it. The book will be priced at Rs 99.

Any chance that Kishore Ambwani is actally velu? :sherlock:

[vamos_rafa]

Awesome! I hope people didn't miss this part. Any chance that Kishore Ambwani is actally velu? :sherlock:

Yeah that' a great catch. Could be Velu I think.

[beetle]

Sidin Vadukut...love his writing. At home we call him by his pet name: Rahul. Drives him insane.:hysterical::hysterical: The book will be priced at Rs 99.:hysterical:

[kumar713]

:hysterical::hysterical:

[sourab10forever]

Hello Mr.Sidin Vadukut. I think this post might contain more words than your whole book.happy reading. This is for all those who hate SACHIN TENDULKAR.... all his records ----> Highest number of Runs scored in Tests [15,921]Highest number of Runs scored in ODIs [18,426] Highest number of Runs scored in International Matches[34,357] Highest number of Runs scored in World Cups[2,278]Highest number of Runs scored in a single World Cup [673]Highest number of Runs scored in Tournament Finals [1851]Highest number of 100’s scored in Tests [51] Highest number of 100’s scored in ODIs [49] Highest number of 100’s scored in International Matches [100] Highest number of 100’s scored in World Cups[6] Highest number of 100’s scored in Tournament Finals [6]Highest number of consecutive 100’s scored in Tournament Finals[4 ]Highest number of consecutive 50’s scored in Tournament Finals[4]Highest number of 50’s scored in Tests [68]Highest number of 50’s scored in ODIs [96] Highest number of 50’s scored in International Matches [1634]Highest number of 50’s scored in World Cups[15]Highest number of 50’s scored in a single World Cup [6]Highest number of 50 scores in Tests [119]Highest number of 50 scores in ODIs [144]Highest number of 50 scores in International Matches [263]Highest number of 50 scores in World Cups [21]Highest number of 50 scores in a single World Cup [7]Highest number of 50 scores in Tournament Finals [16]Highest number of Man of the Match Awards in ODIs [62]Highest number of Man of the Match Awards in World Cups [9]Highest number of Man of the Match Awards in Tournament Finals [8]Man of the Series of World Cup 2003 Highest number of Man of the Series Awards in ODIs [15]Highest number of 150 scores in Tests [20]Highest number of 150 scores in ODIs [5]Highest number of 150 scores in International Matches [25]First man to score a 200 in ODIs First and only man to play 6 World Cups[1992-2011]First and only man to score 50 Test 100’s First man to score 50 International 100’s First and only man to score 75 International 100’s First and only man to score 25 International 150 scores First man to score 100 50 ODI scores First man to score 100 50 Test scores First man to score 200 International 50 scores First man to score 250 International 50 scores First man to score 25,000 runs in International Matches First and only man to score 2000 runs in World Cups Highest number of 100’s scored in a Calendar year in ODIs [9 in 1998] Highest number of 50’s scored in a Calendar year in ODIs [13 in 2007] Highest number of 100’s scored in a Calendar year in International Matches [12 in 1998]Highest number of Runs scored in a Calendar year in ODIs[1894 in 1998]First man to score 2500 International Runs in a Calendar year in International Matches 7 Times 1000 Runs in a Calendar year in ODIs[1998-1894;1996-1611; 2007-1425;2000-1328;2003-1141;1994-1089;1997-1011]6 Times 1000 Runs in a Calendar year in Tests[2010-1562;2002-1392;1999-1088;2008-1063;2001-1003;1997-1000]450 runs in a single World Cup on 3 occasions[1996-523;2003-673; 2011-482]First and only man to score 30,000 International Runs & take 200 International Wickets Highest number of 100’s scored against one team in ODIs [9 vs Australia] Highest number of Partnership Runs scored in ODIs [8227 with S.Ganguly] Highest number of Partnership Runs scored in International Matches [12,400 with S Ganguly] Highest number of Opening Partnership Runs in ODIs [6609 with S.Ganguly]Highest number of Century Partnerships in Tests[20 with R.Dravid] Highest number of Century Partnerships in ODIs[26 with S Ganguly]Highest number of Century Partnerships in International Matches [38 with S Ganguly]Highest number of Century Opening Partnerships in ODIs [21 with S Ganguly]Highest 2nd wicket Partnership in ODIs [331 runs with R Dravid]Highest 3rd wicket Partnership in ODIs [237*runs with R Dravid]Highest number of boundaries hit in Tests [2016]Highest number of boundaries hit in ODIs [2044]Highest number of boundaries hit in an innings in ODIs [25]Highest number of Tests played in a Career [200]Highest number of ODIs played in a Career [463]Longest ODI career [23 years]Highest number of consecutive matches played for a team in ODIs[185]Highest number of 90’s scored in Tests [10]Highest number of 90’s scored in ODIs [18]Fastest 10,000 runs in Tests [195 Inns]Fastest 10,000 runs in ODIs [259 Inns]Fastest 11,000 runs in ODIs [276 Inns]Fastest 12,000 runs in Tests [247 Inns]Fastest 12,000 runs in ODIs [300 Inns]Fastest 13,000 runs in Tests [266 Inns]Fastest 13,000 runs in ODIs [321 Inns]Fastest 14,000 runs in Tests [279 Inns]Fastest 14,000 runs in ODIs [350 Inns]Fastest 15,000 runs in Tests [300 Inns]Fastest 15,000 runs in ODIs [377 Inns]Fastest 16,000 runs in ODIs [399 Inns]Fastest 17,000 runs in ODIs [424 Inns]Fastest 18,000 runs in ODIs [440 Inns]First man to reach 10,000 runs in ODIs First man to reach 12,000 runs in Tests First man to reach 12,000 runs in ODIs First man to reach 13,000 runs in Tests First man to reach 13,000 runs in ODIs First and only man to reach 14,000 runs in Tests First and only man to reach 14,000 runs in ODIs First and only man to reach 15,000 runs in Tests First and only man to reach 15,000 runs in ODIs First and only man to reach 16,000 runs in ODIs First and only man to reach 17,000 runs in ODIs First and only man to reach 18,000 runs in ODIs Youngest player to score a Test Century for India[17 yrs]Youngest player to represent India in ODIs [16 yrs] Youngest player to captain India in ODIs [23 yrs]Youngest player to represent India in Tests [16 yrs]Highest number of 200’s for Indian Tests [6]Highest number of 200’s for Indian International Matches [7]Best All-rounder performance for India in ODIs[141&4/38 vs Australia].. note:WAS compiled a few years ago.A few records might have been broken.A very few. *****GREAT BOW TO THE GOD OF THE GAME***** ******WE MISS U*****:bumsmack:

[Cricket_Hacker]

Another good one(written after many Pak players were fined for not being fit

Episode Three Scene: a field somewhere near Lahore. A group of young men in grey Lahore PD tracksuits are standing around, yawning Umar: I can't believe they said we weren't fit. Afridi: Don't worry bro, the PCB never takes these things seriously. Trust me. A couple of times around the field and then we can sneak off for a pre-lunch burger. Enter Detective Misbah, jogging. He proceeds to jog on the spot Misbah: Good morning fatties! Afridi: What are you doing here? Misbah: Police Chief Waqar is appalled at the general lack of fitness in this department so he has asked me to get you people into shape. Afridi: You aren't qualified. Misbah: Not true. I have a Diploma in Fatty Eradication from the University of Cyberspace, and a badge. Do you know what my badge says? Afridi: Bite me? Misbah: No, my portly friend, it does not. It is a special reward from the PCB for being good and for sticking to the official PCB diet. Afridi: Huh? All you got was a badge? Not worth it. Misbah: Not just a badge. I got a 10% bonus and this very shiny whistle. Do you know what this whistle is for? Afridi: To keep the umpire awake when you're batting? Misbah: No, Detective Afridi. It is to demonstrate my authority. When I blow my whistle like this (blows whistle) you have to do exactly what I say. Now, all of you, on the floor and give me ten. They groan and attempt to manage a few sit-ups Misbah:Put your back into it, Afridi. Good grief, I've never seen such a collection of wobble-bottoms and pot-bellies. There has been a dangerous outbreak of lazyitis in this squad and I am going to turn all of you into model professionals. Umar: I think I'm going to pass out! Rehman: I can't feel my legs! Misbah: Right that's enough, stand up all of you. Now, exercise is only part of the solution. Diet is essential. Detective Afridi, what did you have for dinner yesterday? Afridi: Three kebabs, chicken biryani and two bowls of kheer and ice cream. Misbah: Good grief! Afridi: And a quarter-pounder with cheese for supper. Misbah: Do you have any idea of the nutrient composition of a burger? Afridi: Yes, it's 90% delicious. Misbah: Detective Afridi, you are a disgrace. From now on, you will all conform to the official PCB diet sheet. (Hands a pile of diet sheets to Umar). Everyone is to read this paper and inwardly digest. No, Irfan, do not eat the diet sheet, it was a figure of speech. Rehman: Mine just says granola. What's granola? Misbah: Granola is your best friend, detective. Now can anyone tell me what this is? (Holds up an apple) Afridi: Let me see. Looks like a cricket ball. (He takes a bite) Urggh! Doesn't taste like a cricket ball! What is that? Misbah: That is an apple. Afridi: A what? Misbah: It's a fruit? Afridi: A what? Misbah: (sighs) Never mind. Let's test your food intelligence. Who can tell me what to do if you find you've put on a few extra pounds? Rehman: Wear a bigger t-shirt? Umar: I know this! You should go for vertical stripes, they are far more flattering. My brother Kamran has this really nice striped shirt, swears it takes five pounds off his hips. Rehman: He does look good in it. Mutters of agreement Misbah: Enough! You will all be staying behind for detention. Now give me 20! (blows whistle but no-one moves). Didn't you hear the whistle of authority? (blows it again). No, Irfan, what are you doing? You can't treat me like this! Irfan picks up Detective Misbah and dumps him head first into a vat of granola Afridi: Post-training burger anyone? Umar: Count me in. Rehman: This exercise business gives you a real appetite!

[Sidhoni]

SV: Is there a cricketer called Sam Trumpington? KA: No. I just say that to make Sachin fans go and waste three days desperately going through the ESPNcricinfo archives to prove that Tendulkar is better than Trumpington. Great fun. I once made a fake Sam Trumpington Wikipedia profile with Sangakkara's statistics and an old photo of Intikhab Alam. Tendulnuts went mad vandalising the page.

:rofl:

[Sachin=GOD]

Another good one(written after many Pak players were fined for not being fit

Misbah: Not just a badge. I got a 10% bonus and this very shiny whistle. Do you know what this whistle is for? Afridi: To keep the umpire awake when you're batting? :giggle: Otherwise the articles is quite ordinary and not funny.

[Sachin=GOD]

Hello Mr.Sidin Vadukut. I think this post might contain more words than your whole book.happy reading. *****GREAT BOW TO THE GOD OF THE GAME***** ******WE MISS U*****:bumsmack:

You do realize that the articles for written on cricinfo's PAGE 2....