Book_Worm Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.". Well . . . you'll love this one. My name is Meena. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Xavier's high school. "Yes. yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1987. Why do you ask?" "You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then,that ugly,old,bald,wrinkled faced,gray-haired,decrepit,idiot,asked, "What subject did you teach" ? beetle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book_Worm Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 E-mail note from a man in Sheffield to his friend in Birmingham: I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system and de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch. I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large black flag of ISIS in its centre. Now, the Yorkshire police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365. My children are followed going to, and returning from, school every day, and my wife is also followed when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all. I'VE NEVER FELT SAFER! All thanks to Pakistan. beetle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 One guy asks the other, "Hey, have you ever gone to bed with an ugly woman?" The second guy says, "No, but I've woken up with plenty." :haha: :cantstop::two_thumbs_up: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 I asked my mate Abdul why he has sex noises saved on his ipod. He said, "It's for sound effects during sex." I asked, " Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?" He replied, "No, I work in a morgue." adi B and New guy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Minority groups are campaigning for more pakistani families to be in EastEnders. That would be too far fetched though - everyone knows that pakistanis wouldn't go near a soap. New guy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 What do pizza boys and gynaecologists have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it. New guy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 I was ice-skating today just minding my own business when I noticed some big fat bird kept giving me the eye. Eventually she came over. "Hi there, I'm a bit shy I'm not very good at breaking the ice," she laughed. "Have you tried jumping?" I asked. :hysterical: Mahaa Raavana and New guy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laaloo Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I was ice-skating today just minding my own business when I noticed some big fat bird kept giving me the eye. Eventually she came over. "Hi there, I'm a bit shy I'm not very good at breaking the ice," she laughed. "Have you tried jumping?" I asked. :hysterical: playa is back B->B->:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 What does a Korean need when they're taking their dog out?Oven gloves New guy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 I went to a paki strip club last night.As soon as the girls got down to their suicide vests, all the blokes started shouting "Set them off! Set them off!" New guy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amiret Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vvvslaxman Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 I was hoping to share something on FB lol but PP's all jokes are "unshareable" on my page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 On the Aamir Khan Intolerance controversy, Aamir had actually misheard Karin and the whole issue has snowballed now. She actually told him..."I want to feel Saif". tweaker 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Gay man in tattoo shop wants a tattoo to impress his boyfriend but does not know what to have. " well what is he interested in " "boxing " said the gay. "Well why not have a tattoo of Mike Tyson on one arse cheek and a tattoo of of Muhammed Ali on the other". Brilliant idea said the gay lets go for it. On getting home he bent over to show his boyfriend who said "oh my god what the feck have you done. If you think I am getting in the ring with those two you can p*ss off" tweaker 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted December 14, 2015 Author Share Posted December 14, 2015 History was made today when Saudi women went to the polls for the first time, to vote for whoever their husbands ordered them to. tweaker, maniac and Under_Score 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 (edited) What are female suicide bombers promised to get in jannat? Driver's License! Edited December 15, 2015 by coffee_rules Under_Score and tweaker 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vvvslaxman Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Arvind Kejriwal beetle, bulbul, sourab10forever and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Pagal kutta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bast*rd!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bast*rd!" The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?" The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bast*rd, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one." tweaker, Under_Score and Laaloo 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vvvslaxman Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months." kumar713, tweaker and Under_Score 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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