Ways to survive India's debacle in the second test

[CSK Fan]

The next few days are going to be hard on all of us fans. We have seen India surrender meekly to the english side. So, the next few days, wherever one turns, we will be bomb-bardered with news of this tragedy. English media will be gloating, Pakistanis will have the time of their life, Indian channels will lay into the players and all in all it will be one depressing time to be an Indian fan. So how do we get over the next few days until the next test starts. Here are some tips 1) Shut yourself in a dark room with no internet access The most direct approach. You cant go to work as you are likely to see some posters on the road, probably asking you to make it large or de ghuma ke, which will make you feel like poking your eyes out. So call in sick, tell your family you are going for a office tour and, shut yourself in the attic or the basement. Do remember to carry some chips and coke as you will be shut in for a few days. And of course, a few days might cause serious porn withdrawal symptoms so carry all the DVDs you can but do not take a network/data cable to download it online. You will be soon tempted to go to cricinfo or ICF. Plan your toilet breaks at night so that your family doesnt know you are still living in the house. You can amuse yourself by naming the few rats you might get to see and trying to tame them. Rats adore chips and coke, give it a try. After a few days, you can come back, all refreshed and find the world a different place. There would be new scams for the media to look at, new topics for fans to fignt on, perinnial favorites like 'Bhajji's place in the team', 'PK or Sree' will continue and the world will seem a much saner place 2) Live in denial A technique perfected by the Pakistani fans. Never won a series for years yet they are better than most teams, their players are the best and their bowlers are phast. There are many wonderful things you can learn from that fine country, but the act of denying reality and embracing their dreams as real is something no one does better. Follow their lead India is the world champion. We are the number one team still and England are pathethic. We lost because our players were injured, the stars werent right and the ball boy was ill. Plus the umpiring, that was pathethic, India were playing against 13. And if our bowlers were not banned we would have won each match. Ok, scratch that last sentence 3) Choose your target Everyone agrees that bottling one's anger in can be destructive. So let it all out. Chose your favorite target. Did Bhajji's selection let the team down? Blame him for India being all out for 158. PK's pace or Sreesanth's face? Which do you dislike more? Dhoni in tests, surely not? You want Sachin to take all the blame (hence taking the meaning of 'God' literally), so be it. Let it all out. Or wait for a fellow poster to make some point in his own disappointment and snap at him like a rabid dog. But be careful, there is a fine line between ranting and abusing. Dont get banned 4) Brave it out The stiff-upper lip. No one on the outside can know the turmoil within. Gracefully praise the England team while your fists itch to punch a hole in Pietersen's smile. Accept that Serani and Wobbly were right all along without trying to jump off the terrace. Stoically reply to all Pakistani fans taunts while you wish that India was united once again so that you can use this excuse for a second partition. You go through life with a broad smile while inside you are an empty shadow of a man. To quote From sport to sport they hurry me, to stifle my regret, and when they win a smile from me - they think that I forget 5) Get drunk Most of us dont need an excuse for this. As they say, Hum lakh achhe sahi log kharab kahte hai, Bigda hua wo hamko nawab kahte hai, Hum to aise badnam ho gaye hai ki pani bhi piye to log sharab kehte he… But when i say drunk, I mean literally p!ss drunk. Drunk to an extent that your balls start leaking and if you talk to a friend, he fails a breathanalyzer test on the way home. Drown your sorrows in a green bottle. But remember, dont try to make it large One word of caution, don't drink and drive, you might spill your beer

[zen]

Or accept we played badly, made selection errors, .... Eng played well Those who win celebrate, those who lose introspect and prepare to fight back :icflove:

[CSK Fan]

Or accept we played badly, made selection errors, .... Eng played well Those who win celebrate, those who lose introspect and prepare to fight back :icflove:

Thats for the selectors and Dhoni. As a fan, I reserve my right to wallow in self-pity and burn effigies

[jairamesh]

Or 6) consider cricket just another frivolous ball game made into some nationalistic jingoistic ritual by the media, and all is good in the world. PS. It helps working in an office full of people who can't even spell TEST CRICKET.

[urbestfriend]

Good one mate..:hysterical:

[flamy]

I'm just waiting for this homogiri to be done with so I can watch the ODI series :woot:

[Trichromatic]

A technique perfected by the Pakistani fans....... :hysterical:

[Stuge]

^ I guess its time for us to learn something from them :hysterical:

[goose]

Let's all queue up and go knock on the door of the England dressing room and ask Strauss and Flower if they'd be willing to pretend today did not happen.

[thevortex]

I guess a lot of the posters here have started following Indian cricket when it was close to or already on the upswing! People who have followed the team through the 90s should have no problem getting to terms with this :). Yes, sure, this is not the same team we had in the 90s. But again, the losses in the 2 Tests should not come as bolts out of the blue. England is a well balanced team playing in home conditions. And as for India, there are limits to where individual brilliance and batting pyrotechnics can get you. That too Minus Sehwag...

[Ramzz]

^^ Yea I am quite used to these kind of failures. Even when India was dominating in the first innings, I still get that feeling in my stomach that we will manage to screw it up somehow and the team did not disappoint.

[IKnowU]

Just another day boizz I can guarantee we will have many more failures in the future? Where are the wrist slitters at now? :hmmm:

[Mariyam]

OP: The best post on the day ICF went collectively mad :hatsoff:

[CSK Fan]

OP: The best post on the day ICF went collectively mad :hatsoff:

Thanks Mariyam

[ravsdh]

love this post; superb work

[vvvslaxman]

Tried and tested... Porn

[Brainfade]

Excellent OP! My approach: Alternate a youtube video of Dhoni's WC2011 six with a video of the "All eej vayll" song from 3 Idiots.

[King Tendulkar]

:hysterical: I am going for 2)

[Fontaine]

I'm actually not too disapointed. 1. Our preparation was bollox. From Pujara/Sehwag delaying surgery to Zaheer/SRT/ etc missing the Windies tour. Arriving a couple of days before the first test expecting everything to just be ok. 2. With Zaheer/Gambhir injured along with Sehwag, didn't expect India to win the first two (1-0) at best. 3. England are a very good side at home and really know how to prepare. The disapointment isn't in losing, every team loses sooner or later. The disapointment is zero preperation/hunger and dedication to start off the series at your best. We all know how the world cup went. Kirsten revealed that for a year before the entire team was going through every ODI match as preperation for the WC. When these guys prepare well, they win. Simple as that. We not only prepared poorly, but the administration/BCCI sabotaged the tour to begin with by d*cking around with Sehwag/Pujara's injuries until it was too late. It's fair that England are 2-0 up. They have been the far better prepared side.

[Ultimate_Game]

For me it's watching the WC DVDs again, especially the Pak and SL games (semi & final)... never fails to bring a smile to my face If someone had given us the option of winning WC and losing the Eng series most of us would have chosen it, and if someone had told us after the 2007 WC debacle that we would win T20 Cup, win the next WC and only lose one series in the next 4 years, I would have been over the moon. The series hurts for sure but if the team managed to beat Aus in Aus later this year, I would be more than happy with the way things are.