Ind polled as the most dangerous country for women

[Vilander]

On 6/28/2018 at 12:27 PM, beetle said:

In a mostly heterosexual society..

It takes a man and a woman to stray.

It always did .

 

It is naive to say adultery and the other socially unacceptable vices did not occur earlier.It has been happening forever.

These days with a phone and a camera in every hand, it is just more easier to get caught.

 

Besides ...when men and women work together, there are more chances of people straying.

That being said, if you look at the papers, there are more housewives involved in adultery cases that come in the news because of the violent ends.

But how is adultery a social problem of national scale  it is a personal financial issue with judicial process well outlined for redressal. Rape female foeticide on the other hand is endemic in India.. 

[beetle]

9 minutes ago, Vilander said:

But how is adultery a social problem of national scale  it is a personal financial issue with judicial process well outlined for redressal. Rape female foeticide on the other hand is endemic in India.. 

It is not .

The comment was in response to the poster 's comment that adultery is on the rise in both men and women.( suggesting women have joined the game equally now)

 

That was a moot point because in a mostly heterosexual population, it always takes a man and a woman to stray.So unless we were a very 'gay' society earlier....adultery rates were same for women and men.

This....if you consider getting involved with a married person as adultery too. 

 

 

Edited July 6, 2018 by beetle

[Vilander]

6 minutes ago, beetle said:

It is not .

The comment was in response to the poster 's comment that adultery is on the rise in both men and women.( suggesting women have joined the game equally now)

 

That was a moot point because in a mostly heterosexual population, it always takes a man and a woman to stray.So unless we were a very 'gay' society earlier....adultery rates were same for women and men.

This....if you consider getting involved with a married person as adultery too. 

 

 

It was concubines earlier now adultery since avenues are lesser. 

[someone]

20 hours ago, Muloghonto said:

However, in the 'working family' model in India, India is at the toxic '1980s western world' stage, where I have also rarely seen a working Indian household that treats the wife as a normal human being, instead of Wonder-woman. Many 'progressive Indian couples' who come to the west, i've seen has the guy still thinking along patriarchial lines of 'mans work vs womans work' and refuse to do household chores beyond the bare minimum.

So the wife now is in charge of making lunches and sending kids to school, then go to work, then come home and cook, clean and put children to bed. Because 'its wife's duty to cook, wife's duty to clean, wife's duty to deal with children' mentality amongst us Indian guys.

For Indian family to survive in the modern world without having western levels of divorce, its critical for the woman to realize that holding a job is a good thing for the marriage (not financially but emotionally) and for the man to realize that splitting chores 50-50 is good for the marriage.

 

Disagree.  Women do and will choose to spend more time with children than man. That's the statistics. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being a housewife similarly as nothing wrong in a wife doing a full-time job.

 

The problem is when you make one as inferior and other as superior. That's the trend nowadays where some people want to dictate how women should make their decisions and how they are oppressed if they do otherwise.

 

[someone]

20 hours ago, Muloghonto said:

People here are confusing lack of rights with safety. 

Take Saudi vs India - ofcourse women have far less rights in Saudi than in India. However, safety is about unexpected violence - women are far less likely to be randomly raped and dumped in a nullah in Saudi Arabia than in India. A country can have far more rights than another, but be less safe than its counterpart at the same time. 

 

Well, many Western countries are worst  than us, as they have higher crime rates. We have take the population into consideration. So it's wrong to single out our country only.

 

[Hydra]

11 hours ago, someone said:

Well, many Western countries are worst  than us, as they have higher crime rates. We have take the population into consideration. So it's wrong to single out our country only.

 

Lol ok just do a google search and you will see how safe India is for women and kids, every day there is at least one rape case and worst against kids as well, but Indians will continue to shift the blame.

[someone]

2 hours ago, Hydra said:

Lol ok just do a google search and you will see how safe India is for women and kids, every day there is at least one rape case and worst against kids as well, but Indians will continue to shift the blame.

I wrote this earlier here, of course there are problems but,

 

We aren't the most unsafe nation, and that has to be dispelled vigorously. Next, just like India is a poor place, India is unsafe for women maybe correct. But we don't get anything if we take this image of our country to the world. We must defeat this mindset, and perception. Also,  there are many Western countries with higher crime rates against women, so we have to the the population into consideration.

[Hydra]

1 hour ago, someone said:

I wrote this earlier here, of course there are problems but,

 

We aren't the most unsafe nation, and that has to be dispelled vigorously. Next, just like India is a poor place, India is unsafe for women maybe correct. But we don't get anything if we take this image of our country to the world. We must defeat this mindset, and perception. Also,  there are many Western countries with higher crime rates against women, so we have to the the population into consideration.

Sorry but that's just an excuse, I understand India has a large population but you can't hide forever under that excuse.

[nikred]

Lol ok just do a google search and you will see how safe India is for women and kids, every day there is at least one rape case and worst against kids as well, but Indians will continue to shift the blame.

India is not safe for women- Fact. We at least took the right step to recognize that's a problem.

India is the most dangerous country for women - No one has that kind of data to back that up.

I can google for many countries and find such news on daily basis. I am sure there are many countries who will not even bother to report such news and worse still such cases go unreported too. In short, no one has the data to back up that claim.

Sent from my Redmi Note 4 using Tapatalk

[rkt.india]

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/bellesa/world-cup-2018-sexism-rape-culture_a_23473506/

 

Rape Culture Is Winning The World Cup

[Muloghonto]

On 7/6/2018 at 8:22 AM, someone said:

Disagree.  Women do and will choose to spend more time with children than man. That's the statistics. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being a housewife similarly as nothing wrong in a wife doing a full-time job.

Big difference between choosing to spend more time with children and being a housewife. 

 

On 7/6/2018 at 8:22 AM, someone said:

The problem is when you make one as inferior and other as superior. That's the trend nowadays where some people want to dictate how women should make their decisions and how they are oppressed if they do otherwise.

 

This is not nowadays stuff, this is ALWAYS the stuff. This is why Indians, arabs and virtually all the world that sticks to the 'housewife + working husband' model prefer docile and obidient wives. Because it ALWAYS comes down to 'my money, my rules'. Seen it in every single arranged marriage that i got to know the couple well. 

 

[Muloghonto]

On 7/6/2018 at 8:23 AM, someone said:

Well, many Western countries are worst  than us, as they have higher crime rates. We have take the population into consideration. So it's wrong to single out our country only.

 

Which western country has what crimes higher than India, except homicide in the US ?!?

Remember, rape is a crime that is massively under-reported outside of the west due to social stigma. 

 

[coffee_rules]

 

 

[dial_100]

16 minutes ago, coffee_rules said:

 

 

Fair enough but our population makes overall numbers look quite shameful. I am surprised that US doesnt get flaked for their abysmal statistics on rape. Here are the total rape numbers based on population.

 

Finland - 1k

Sweden - 6-7k 

Germany - 7-8K

Mexico - 14-15k

India - 23-24k

US - 80+k

[someone]

On 7/10/2018 at 7:40 AM, Muloghonto said:

Big difference between choosing to spend more time with children and being a housewife. 

 

This is not nowadays stuff, this is ALWAYS the stuff. This is why Indians, arabs and virtually all the world that sticks to the 'housewife + working husband' model prefer docile and obidient wives. Because it ALWAYS comes down to 'my money, my rules'. Seen it in every single arranged marriage that i got to know the couple well. 

 

Using your logic, men also do not have have a choice, they are told that they have to be the breadwinner of the family. Next, for you to say women are inferior,docile, oppressed if they don't follow your way of living is plain stupid and speaks of elitism. That's an insult to many women.

 

Ultimately, with today's technological advances, we live in time where one can do multiple things. And we see it here, housewife with their own small business at home. That's a good development and what is needed...

 

[coffee_rules]

Even if under-reported, the sheer difference in per 100000 rate of crime (13 times for US to India) means the laws are not good enough to prevent these crimes in those countries. It should be as a deterrent to prevent crime, rather than retribution. 

[Muloghonto]

7 hours ago, someone said:

Using your logic, men also do not have have a choice, they are told that they have to be the breadwinner of the family.

Sure. But atleast the men within this outdated arranged-marriage system have far greater power, because they earn all the money. 

As i said, i am yet to find an arranged marriage where the man hasn't used the 'my money, my rules' argument atleast once. This makes it inferior in my eyes as there can be no true equality without financial independence of both parties.

 

7 hours ago, someone said:

Next, for you to say women are inferior,docile, oppressed if they don't follow your way of living is plain stupid and speaks of elitism. That's an insult to many women.

I didnt say women are inferior and docile. I said that is what men who get into arranged marriage look for and the women who are not inferior,docile and oppressed end up either having a very unhappy marriage or set on fire by the inlaws. 

7 hours ago, someone said:

 

Ultimately, with today's technological advances, we live in time where one can do multiple things. And we see it here, housewife with their own small business at home. That's a good development and what is needed...

 

What is needed, is for indian women to join the workforce and for indian men to share the household chores 50-50. 

[beetle]

On 7/12/2018 at 12:54 AM, Muloghonto said:

Sure. But atleast the men within this outdated arranged-marriage system have far greater power, because they earn all the money. 

As i said, i am yet to find an arranged marriage where the man hasn't used the 'my money, my rules' argument atleast once. This makes it inferior in my eyes as there can be no true equality without financial independence of both parties

Mine.

Never have I heard that.

 

I agree with you post mostly.

In a country like ours....women should always have the ability to earn money .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 20, 2018 by beetle

[beetle]

@MuloghontoIn my family circle,most working women with good well paying jobs have to depend on parents or in laws  because husbands are not equal partners at home.Pressures of working both at home and outside plus the stressful commute makes life tough.

 

Some times parents/ in laws force their way into the lives of these women and sometimes they are forced to get involved in taking care of grandchildren and home.

These women are financially independent but have very little independence in real life.

I feel that i have a far more independent life even staying at home or working for low paying teaching jobs on and off.

 

True independence will come only when men accept that they need to contribute more than a paycheck when raising a family.

[Muloghonto]

18 minutes ago, beetle said:

@MuloghontoIn my family circle,most working women with good well paying jobs have to depend on parents or in laws  because husbands are not equal partners at home.Pressures of working both at home and outside plus the stressful commute makes life tough.

 

Some times parents/ in laws force their way into the lives of these women and sometimes they are forced to get involved in taking care of grandchildren and home.

These women are financially independent but have very little independence in real life.

I feel that i have a far more independent life even staying at home or working for low paying teaching jobs on and off.

 

True independence will come only when men accept that they need to contribute more than a paycheck when raising a family.

Behna, 

you are preaching to the choir. In India, most working women have in-laws involved is because the men don't do jack at home. Simple fact is, i realized when i immigrated at 17, is Indian men are not brought up to be anything more than 'paying guests' at home. 

Some adapt to the reality of the west, where you gotta do a crap ton of housework to have a decent place. But in reality, most i've encountered, back at home or here, do nothing to help out at home. They consider 'i change light bulbs when it breaks down, unclog the drain and bring home the $$' as doing their part at home. In truth, its not just the Indians, Arabs are the same way too, so are the Africans. 

It gets worse in the west, because most households need 2 incomes and therefore, the woman now is wonder-woman. Imagine doing what you do, plus a 9-5 job (ie, you are out of house at 8 and returning at 6). And then these guys whine about how their 'love is dying/wife is ignoring them/life is boring' yadda yadda. 

 

True independence works both ways and honestly, in the long term, a marriage sees everything from both sides. 

Both should bring home $$ and both should take care of the home when they are home. If both have a 9-5 job, thats when having in-laws or daycare comes in handy. But in the weekday evenings, both should take part in the whole 'cooking,cleaning, dealing with kids' aspect.