Khota Posted September 27, 2023 Share Posted September 27, 2023 Why Retiring in India No Longer Requires Living With the Kids (msn.com) Good step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariyam Posted September 27, 2023 Share Posted September 27, 2023 1 hour ago, Khota said: Why Retiring in India No Longer Requires Living With the Kids (msn.com) Good step. Reads like a feel good article written by some NRI apologist to convince herself that leaving her parents behind and settling where ever is justified on moral grounds. nevada, coffee_rules and Muloghonto 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted September 27, 2023 Author Share Posted September 27, 2023 That unfortunately is the reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singh bling Posted September 27, 2023 Share Posted September 27, 2023 It's not India . It's handful of urban upper middle class people. Muloghonto and ravishingravi 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariyam Posted September 28, 2023 Share Posted September 28, 2023 On 9/27/2023 at 5:20 PM, Khota said: That unfortunately is the reality. What is unfortunate and a reality? Some exposition would help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted September 28, 2023 Author Share Posted September 28, 2023 2 hours ago, Mariyam said: What is unfortunate and a reality? Some exposition would help! Kids don't want to take care of parents. I was driving a scooter once and in front of me there was a truck which had a message : Buri Nazar wale tere bacche giyan, Bare ho kar tere khoon piyan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted September 29, 2023 Share Posted September 29, 2023 8 hours ago, Khota said: Kids don't want to take care of parents. I was driving a scooter once and in front of me there was a truck which had a message : Buri Nazar wale tere bacche giyan, Bare ho kar tere khoon piyan. Standard pop culture stereotyping. I have seen gora colleagues striving hard to take care of parents staying with them. It’s not true that NRI kids want to get rid of their first generation parents, but setting down in India for some NRIs is not a far-fetched reality for upper middle class people in US now., Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 33 minutes ago, coffee_rules said: Standard pop culture stereotyping. I have seen gora colleagues striving hard to take care of parents staying with them. It’s not true that NRI kids want to get rid of their first generation parents, but setting down in India for some NRIs is not a far-fetched reality for upper middle class people in US now., All I am saying when we age, we should not be dependent on anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bharathh Posted September 29, 2023 Share Posted September 29, 2023 I agree not being dependent on anyone in your older years is a good thing. However, that should not absolve children of their duties towards their parents. Trying to become independent financially at least makes life a lot easier on their children. Don't spend everything on your children growing up. Keep some for your future as well. I think most people who have some base to build on left to them by their parents or those who have created some financial base for themselves should live with that. From a companionship perspective, in today's global world it is difficult to expect children to grow up with their families. However, the ones that want to and care for their families still do so. IMO, this is the strength of Indians. My colleagues in the US used to say that Indians have the family bonus growing up that allows them to do well in life. It's a pity that it is falling apart in today's fast paced world. Hopefully, as the world gets smaller the children will come back home and pursue their dreams close to their families. diga, Mariyam and ravishingravi 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 2 hours ago, diga said: Mulo, you are better than this..you can present your arguments without using cuss words.. @Austin 3:!6 No he cannot. He is from gutter and that is where he dwells. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 5 hours ago, bharathh said: I agree not being dependent on anyone in your older years is a good thing. However, that should not absolve children of their duties towards their parents. Trying to become independent financially at least makes life a lot easier on their children. Don't spend everything on your children growing up. Keep some for your future as well. I think most people who have some base to build on left to them by their parents or those who have created some financial base for themselves should live with that. From a companionship perspective, in today's global world it is difficult to expect children to grow up with their families. However, the ones that want to and care for their families still do so. IMO, this is the strength of Indians. My colleagues in the US used to say that Indians have the family bonus growing up that allows them to do well in life. It's a pity that it is falling apart in today's fast paced world. Hopefully, as the world gets smaller the children will come back home and pursue their dreams close to their families. What is ideal seldom happens. Kids complaint about their parents. If at old age they are physically disabled, there is elderly abuse going on. World is a far from perfect place. What you are saying happens under ideal circumstances, real world is another story. In Delhi if you buy or sell property there is lady sitting checking all the paperwork, and if there is an elderly person involved everyone has to step out of the room so that she can check the intent to stop fraud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted September 29, 2023 Share Posted September 29, 2023 5 hours ago, Khota said: Very nice language. For thousands of years my forefathers used to ride bullock carts. I ride a scooter/car now. Get over it. Yes, because bullock carts vs scooters represents a decided social structural change and not just enhancement of a mechanism. Idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 8 minutes ago, Muloghonto said: Yes, because bullock carts vs scooters represents a decided social structural change and not just enhancement of a mechanism. Idiot. Similarly, with Industrial age we have smaller families. Moron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted September 29, 2023 Share Posted September 29, 2023 4 minutes ago, Khota said: Similarly, with Industrial age we have smaller families. Moron. Smaller families does not equate to changing the fundamental structure and obligation OF the family, mr idiot. What you are saying is we change how our families work. When how our families work IS the main advantage we have over your gora masters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 18 minutes ago, Muloghonto said: Smaller families does not equate to changing the fundamental structure and obligation OF the family, mr idiot. What you are saying is we change how our families work. When how our families work IS the main advantage we have over your gora masters. You consider Goras as master's I don't. Similarly driving cars have changes the infrastructure. Social structures evolve over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted September 29, 2023 Share Posted September 29, 2023 3 minutes ago, Khota said: You consider Goras as master's I don't. Similarly driving cars have changes the infrastructure. Social structures evolve over time. I am not the one giving gora agencies a free pass and accusing our own for corruption based on predatory gora private entities, you are. Driving a car vs riding a donkey isnt a fundamental change in SOCIAL STRUCTURE. what you are saying, is a fundamental change in social structure. A change that has devastated the west and is the main driver for utter asiatic dominance in the west in all walks of life - because we havent attached ourselves to anti-human, low performance values in the name of modernity like your gora masters have. Hence you use their bullshit talking points re: social evolution- when there has been ZERO social evolution in family structure in known history of Asia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted October 3, 2023 Author Share Posted October 3, 2023 On 9/29/2023 at 12:45 PM, Muloghonto said: I am not the one giving gora agencies a free pass and accusing our own for corruption based on predatory gora private entities, you are. Driving a car vs riding a donkey isnt a fundamental change in SOCIAL STRUCTURE. what you are saying, is a fundamental change in social structure. A change that has devastated the west and is the main driver for utter asiatic dominance in the west in all walks of life - because we havent attached ourselves to anti-human, low performance values in the name of modernity like your gora masters have. Hence you use their bullshit talking points re: social evolution- when there has been ZERO social evolution in family structure in known history of Asia. You driving a car or you sitting on a Donkey is a change. Societies evolve so has Indian society too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariyam Posted October 3, 2023 Share Posted October 3, 2023 On 9/29/2023 at 7:37 AM, coffee_rules said: Standard pop culture stereotyping. I have seen gora colleagues striving hard to take care of parents staying with them. It’s not true that NRI kids want to get rid of their first generation parents, but setting down in India for some NRIs is not a far-fetched reality for upper middle class people in US now., Societies evolve. When we ( I guess you are from a generation earlier than mine, so I use we loosely) were growing up, it was expected that grandparents help out with the grand children. Tell them stories. Assist in taking care. As a result, the grand parents were also 'looped in' in major decisions that the family took and that is an intangible that they benefited from. Its not just always about the money, though that is also an important aspect I admit. All of that has changed massively. There are half a dozen domestic help available for various household chores. A visit to the grand parents has become a once a fortnight thing and in that short a time its absolutely difficult to form any meaningful bond with the grand kids and vice versa. As a parent, one always tends to prioritise one's own children and work. The parents become a priority only when something goes wrong health wise. This has been my observation, true to all kinds of people including me to some degree. That wasn't the case earlier. I wouldn't call it erosion of the family structure, but a paradigm shift in the way urban couples view parents say 1990s vs 2020s. ravishingravi and nevada 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted October 3, 2023 Share Posted October 3, 2023 14 hours ago, Khota said: You driving a car or you sitting on a Donkey is a change. Societies evolve so has Indian society too. It isnt a change in how society is organised and works. its an improvement of the same parameters of transport. Being **** at raising kids and increasing social ills isnt an evolution.If it were, they'd not be behind us immigrants with Indian values in every measurable metric, gora-ghulaam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariyam Posted October 3, 2023 Share Posted October 3, 2023 (edited) On 9/28/2023 at 10:55 PM, Khota said: Kids don't want to take care of parents. I was driving a scooter once and in front of me there was a truck which had a message : Buri Nazar wale tere bacche giyan, Bare ho kar tere khoon piyan. From a Javed Akhtar poem from a different context, but apt here ” Kabhi Jo Khwab tha wo pa liya hai magar jo kho gayi wo cheez kya thi” The bond with parents is often the first sacrifice on the altar of aspiration. Edited October 3, 2023 by Mariyam coffee_rules, ravishingravi and Muloghonto 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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