Live-in relationship morally, socially not acceptable: Punjab HC

[kepler37b]

4 hours ago, MechEng said:

 

Agreed. Live in relationships do feel liberating and appear less stressful than the traditional stringent family system, but these freedoms come at a cost. 

They come at cost not only to the individual but also to the society. 

[Alam_dar]

4 hours ago, kepler37b said:

A tightly controlled sexuality with one man-one woman bonding for life is a bedrock of Civilization. 

 

I may be wrong, but still in my opinion humans deviated from this one man-one woman model  a lot of times in the Past. 

 

For example, Muslim Civilisation consisted of one man-4 wives and dozens of slave girls. 

Jews also had multiple wives. 

A lot of other ancient civilizations too had one man-several wives and several slave girls model. 

 

 

Quote

 

Why does a couple want Live in? They want all the pleasures(sexual or otherwise) of relationship with out the responsibility of building a family. For me they are immature and uncivilized kids. Nothing less nothing more.  

 

Personally it seems to me that humans are able to find the solution of every problem. 

 

In modern live in model too, they are sharing the responsibilities. It may be that these responsibilities are not regarding children or money, but still these responsibilities could mean going for shopping, cleaning the house, cooking,  taking care of each other etc. 

 

Humans are amazing. They have the ability to change according to the situations. 

 

In West, people are rich and government takes care of them when they are old. Therefore, they enjoy their life and don't consider their children and family as their insurance for the old days. That is why they don't indulge in children and strong family system. 

 

China was an atheist community, but not so much rich. There too people needed children and strong family as their insurance for their old days. Thus they formed and practised strong family system. 

 

All the poor countries will always have much stronger family system, while they are dependent upon each other.

Edited May 22, 2021 by Alam_dar

[beetle]

I feel live in is fine for people who are mature, financially, physically and emotionally independent . 

Unfortunately most Indian youth in India are not so atleast in their early twenties.....mostly because families prefer it like that as it is easier to control them. 

 

It is  anyway better than forcing people to marry against their wishes . 

 

 

 

[beetle]

9 hours ago, kepler37b said:

A tightly controlled sexuality with one man-one woman bonding for life is a bedrock of Civilization. 

 

Why does a couple want Live in? They want all the pleasures(sexual or otherwise) of relationship with out the responsibility of building a family. For me they are immature and uncivilized kids. Nothing less nothing more.  

 

 

Why can't people be allowed to enjoy the pleasures of a relationship without responsibility of a marriage?Why should other people try to dictate how people should live.

 

As long as people are mature and understand the consequences of being in a relationship ,it is fine. 

 

Not all people who get married are responsible people. Not all marriages are happy or even fair. Not all parents are responsible or fair  parents . 

Edited May 22, 2021 by beetle

[beetle]

Meanwhile,in another case....

 

Once an adult picks his or her partner, no one can object: Punjab and Haryana HC

http://dhunt.in/fQZJO?s=a&uu=0xacead4534ef0c2be&ss=pd
Source : "The Indian Express" via Dailyhunt

Download Now
http://dhunt.in/DWND

[EnterTheVoid]

20 hours ago, kepler37b said:

A tightly controlled sexuality with one man-one woman bonding for life is a bedrock of Civilization. 

 

Why does a couple want Live in? They want all the pleasures(sexual or otherwise) of relationship with out the responsibility of building a family. For me they are immature and uncivilized kids. Nothing less nothing more.  

 

 

 

Why does a relationship have to lead to a family?

[beetle]

22 hours ago, kepler37b said:

A tightly controlled sexuality with one man-one woman bonding for life is a bedrock of Civilization. 

This seems like some mating programme in a zoo enclosure.

 

Edited May 23, 2021 by beetle

[Mariyam]

23 hours ago, kepler37b said:

A tightly controlled sexuality with one man-one woman bonding for life is a bedrock of Civilization. 

 

Why does a couple want Live in? They want all the pleasures(sexual or otherwise) of relationship with out the responsibility of building a family. For me they are immature and uncivilized kids. Nothing less nothing more.  

That's a warped way to look at it.

People who decide to move in and stay together are in fact taking a lot of their own decisions and assuming the responsibility of *not yet* starting a family.

 

 They are monetarily, socially and mentally taking responsibility of their choices and it's consequent fall out. 

I have nothing but respect for such people.

 

Cue to play *humne ghar chhoda hai , rasmon ko toda hai..* :P

Edited May 23, 2021 by Mariyam

[EnterTheVoid]

Arranged Marriages - Marrying someone you don't know from a bar of soap. 

 

All that Kundalini matching, horoscope matching, astrology matching, "chilaka jyotam (parrot astrology - the parrot picks out a random card and predicts your future)" etc, they don't mean squat if the partners aren't sexually, emotionally and psychologically compatible.

 

How many marriages you know, that everybody thought would last a lifetime, dissolved two years later? I can think off at least 4 off the top of my head.

 

In all 4 cases, everybody thought the marriage was made in heaven. Like the Titanic, they simply couldn't sink. Pity nobody asked the boy and girl what they wanted.

 

Not every live in relationship is a "root and boot". Honestly, if one night stands are the agenda, do them instead.

 

If people are going for live in relationships purely to get a root, they need to get their head checked. 

[kepler37b]

45 minutes ago, EnterTheVoid said:

Arranged Marriages - Marrying someone you don't know from a bar of soap. 

 

All that Kundalini matching, horoscope matching, astrology matching, "chilaka jyotam (parrot astrology - the parrot picks out a random card and predicts your future)" etc, they don't mean squat if the partners aren't sexually, emotionally and psychologically compatible.

 

How many marriages you know, that everybody thought would last a lifetime, dissolved two years later? I can think off at least 4 off the top of my head.

 

In all 4 cases, everybody thought the marriage was made in heaven. Like the Titanic, they simply couldn't sink. Pity nobody asked the boy and girl what they wanted.

 

Not every live in relationship is a "root and boot". Honestly, if one night stands are the agenda, do them instead.

 

If people are going for live in relationships purely to get a root, they need to get their head checked. 

 

Do not have expectations from marriage. It is just next phase of life. Stupid movies and stupid romance novels paint an unrealistic picture. Happiness comes from with in. 

 

BTW, in my extended family and friends there is NOT a single case of divorce. 

Edited May 23, 2021 by kepler37b

[kepler37b]

19 hours ago, beetle said:

Why can't people be allowed to enjoy the pleasures of a relationship without responsibility of a marriage?Why should other people try to dictate how people should live.

 

As long as people are mature and understand the consequences of being in a relationship ,it is fine. 

 

Not all people who get married are responsible people. Not all marriages are happy or even fair. Not all parents are responsible or fair  parents . 

 

1 hour ago, Mariyam said:

That's a warped way to look at it.

People who decide to move in and stay together are in fact taking a lot of their own decisions and assuming the responsibility of *not yet* starting a family.

 

 They are monetarily, socially and mentally taking responsibility of their choices and it's consequent fall out. 

I have nothing but respect for such people.

 

Cue to play *humne ghar chhoda hai , rasmon ko toda hai..* :P

Disagree. Not all people are mature. There are people who just break the relationship, even after having kids, for the frivolous reasons like "incompatibility", "She has become fat and old", "He failed in his career", "We both do not have love between us any more". Some kind of societal pressure is required to keep these short sighted people on a leash.  It's NOT just about two individuals. 

[WC2011INDIA]

So I like this girl a lot eventhough we have had many heated arguements due to my parents not liking her family resulting in no response to marriage. We usually resolve our arguements, but leave a stinger in both minds. Still continuing, however, doubts are creeping in both minds. To top it off, kundali match is 19/36 with nadi guna being 0/8. What to do? Any suggestions? 

[EnterTheVoid]

32 minutes ago, kepler37b said:

 

Do not have expectations from marriage. It is just next phase of life. Stupid movies and stupid romance novels paint an unrealistic picture. Happiness comes from with in. 

 

You're missing out.

 

Big time.

[EnterTheVoid]

8 minutes ago, kepler37b said:

 

Disagree. Not all people are mature. There are people who just break the relationship, even after having kids, for the frivolous reasons like "incompatibility", "She has become fat and old", "He failed in his career", "We both do not have love between us any more". Some kind of societal pressure is required to keep these short sighted people on a leash.  It's NOT just about two individuals. 

 

WTF you on about? Those aren't frivolous reasons, partners can fall out of love over a period of time.

 

Have you ever even been in a relationship? 

 

If not, you put yourself in a bad position taking about things you have no experience in. 

[kepler37b]

1 hour ago, EnterTheVoid said:

 

WTF you on about? Those aren't frivolous reasons, partners can fall out of love over a period of time.

 

Have you ever even been in a relationship? 

 

If not, you put yourself in a bad position taking about things you have no experience in. 

You obviously are a overgrown child. Cannot debate on points. Please be safe in your Laala land.

[EnterTheVoid]

14 minutes ago, kepler37b said:

You obviously are a overgrown child. Cannot debate on points. Please be safe in your Laala land.

 

The guy who obviously has never been in a relationship giving relationship gyaan.

 

Why should anyone take you seriously?

 

And why are you giving relationship gyaan anyway? I'm genuinely confused. 

[coffee_rules]

OP: 19 is way too young , is the girl self-employed , 22 is also v young guy to make decisions. In a populace like India where domestic abuse is rampant, might lead to court blessed domestic abuse. Protection is needed if they are getting married

[beetle]

2 hours ago, kepler37b said:

 

Disagree. Not all people are mature. There are people who just break the relationship, even after having kids, for the frivolous reasons like "incompatibility", "She has become fat and old", "He failed in his career", "We both do not have love between us any more". Some kind of societal pressure is required to keep these short sighted people on a leash.  It's NOT just about two individuals. 

If people are not mature enough for live in relationship....from which they can come out if things don't work out....then they are definetely not mature enough to enter into a more permanent marriage. Both the girls in these cases are being forced to marry men of their parents choice. Such immature parents and families are the ones who should have no rights to take life decisions for any one.

 

Some of the reasons like incompatibility and no love at all between couple are perfectly good reasons to seperate. Separated couples are better than unhappy couples making life miserable for eat other or living in regret. 

 

Societal pressure by sick control freak is  abuse. There is no place for dictatorship in people's personal lives.

 

People who believe in societal pressure and social dictatorship are the ones who are sociopaths who do not even hesitate to kill their own flesh and blood in the name for effing family honor. Such control freaks are the ones who need to be kept under check.

[EnterTheVoid]

6 minutes ago, beetle said:

If people are not mature enough for live in relationship....from which they can come out if things don't work out....then they are definetely not mature enough to enter into a more permanent marriage. Both the girls in these cases are being forced to marry men of their parents choice. Such immature parents and families are the ones who should have no rights to take life decisions for any one.

 

Some of the reasons like incompatibility and no love at all between couple are perfectly good reasons to seperate. Separated couples are better than unhappy couples making life miserable for eat other or living in regret. 

 

Societal pressure by sick control freak is  abuse. There is no place for dictatorship in people's personal lives.

 

People who believe in societal pressure and social dictatorship are the ones who are sociopaths who do not even hesitate to kill their own flesh and blood in the name for effing family honor. Such control freaks are the ones who need to be kept under check.

 

Well said. 

 

Being Married NOT THE SAME AS Being Happily Married. 

[Mariyam]

10 hours ago, kepler37b said:

 

Do not have expectations from marriage. It is just next phase of life. Stupid movies and stupid romance novels paint an unrealistic picture. Happiness comes from with in. 

 

BTW, in my extended family and friends there is NOT a single case of divorce. 

I guess its how one looks at it. If one were to not have expectations from a marriage and see it as a next phase, it seems like something one does to conform to existing societal norms. To not stand out as an exception. 

Not very different from guys ( mainly boys) taking science after 10th out of a heady mix of peer pressure and family ki naak ka sawal.

 

I would look at marriage ( or a serious relationship) in a completely different way. You take a step towards marriage if you are going to be happier after marriage than you were before. Else, its far too much of an investment.

 

I had given the example in another thread too. In my extended family and wider friends circle, those who had an arranged marriage were the ones who had extravagant and exorbitant ceremonies. A way for the parents to say "look we've spent all this on your wedding, you guys better toe the line". And these are the couples who've drifted apart/ have been having a very difficult time trying to adjust. The one's who've married for love, are the ones who are going steady and are a lot more equipped (emotionally) to see through difficult times.

Stage 3 of the article you've linked in the other thread. The 5 year itch, is better handled by couples who are decision takers and not by those who are yes men/women to familial pressure. At least from my set of observations.